AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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windy morning

The wind woke me up. When the rain wakes me up I can usually go back to sleep. Even if I can’t it’s somewhat soothing to lay there and listen to it. The wind however makes me slightly anxious with it’s weird loudness. But I heave delicious toast and coffee. I will make egg with bacon and avocado when Ladybug gets up. So all things considered, it’s worth being up. Granted they won’t be fancy noodley ribbons of crepe thin eggs a la Jamie Oliver, but I expect goodness nonetheless. I mean, with avocado and bacon how can one really go wrong, you know?

Work was crazy last night. The full range from local regulars bringing their parents in to big tipping frat boys to groups of 5 young 20-somethings who sit for hours and order $13 worth of stuff. But oddly, despite being way too busy a couple times, being full of somewhat obnoxious customers and everyone else working not appearing to have a great night, I had an awesome time. And not just because my favorite dinner regulars come in (they are from Seattle) with some visiting family members (visiting from Seattle) and they wanted me to sit and talk with them (about Seattle!).

I have way too many things to do today and right now I am so scattered I can’t even order myself to figure out what they are.

Also I could happily live the rest of my life without ever seeing that “KY Yours and mine” commercial. Bleh.


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Mr. Darcy, spring and whiny

How cute is this guy?  That's exactly what Mr. Darcy looked like in my head the first time I read Pride and Predjuduce.  (HA!!  I just read the comments when I went to get the link and apparently not the only one making the Mr. Darcy connection!)

My weekend was too long on the negatives and too short on the actual weekend, though I had a very nice time last night.  Cooked burgers out on the grill and hung out with Big Daddy Sligh and couple folks.  Am now trying to finish up work as quickly as possible, so I can go out and enjoy the sunshine, which in this case, might mean sewing with the door open, so I can finish all my current stacked sewing projects.

Other things I meant to post about but am actually too lazy to go into in depth:

  • I'm a bad friend for not visiting my friends enough
  • Hives, possibly stress induced, on my face. Or maybe the lack of sneezing means this is how my allergies are manifesting this year?
  • New shoes, awesome! Still need sandals, not at all inspired by anything this year, must waste hours looking for something appropriate.
  • Birthday one week away.  Have deep thoughts on aging, maybe will share later.
  • Sunshine!  I love sunshine!  LOVE LOVE LOVE!
  • Going to Seattle May 28-Jun 4. Hopefully have already emailed everyone who really needs to know this.

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complainy old me on an average day

It's Friday, so that's something.

My shoulder has been achey all week, from the work I did last weekend.  It's been feeling progessively better every day, so I haven't worried about it.  Well, last night I apparently slept on it funny because it is painful today and all locked up, my neck is stiff and I'm generally miserable.

My Annoying Coworker has what he described as a "horrible accident" yesterday.  It apparently involved trip over a cord, while carrying his open work laptop and smashing it. Such smashing as requires data rescue and new harddrive. Brilliant.  Now he wants me to spend my day backing up all his files on my computer in case he has another accident.

In related news, I am having chocolate chip cookies and potato chips for breakfast, it only seems fair.

In nicer news, it is 9:45 am and already 65°F.  I know I've declared it spring already a billion times, but after last weekend's late spring freeze, I can now solidly say, that is it for the cold weather, man.  Awesome.  It's so sunny, I might try and power through all my work and run out a little early today.  Maybe a walk in the park will help my poor hurty neck and shoulder.

I made photo essay of my average day for Rhi.  It's here, and I had fun taking the pictures, but the end result seems sort of boring to me.  Maybe I'll do another one of my weekend, as that's when the real magic happens.  Ha!  Not really, but it'd be an interesting contrast.  Also this "average day" is sadly lacking in Holly, so maybe I will just shoot her all weekend.  I'm sure she'd love that. Heh.  Also you should click through the set in order, rather than the slideshow or anything, so you can get the very unexciting explanations with the pictures.

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stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before

Some mornings I just can't win.  Woke up 40 minutes before my alarm, laid in bed for 20 minutes and fell back asleep about the time I'd decided to get up.  Overslept. Raced around getting ready. Picked clothes that matched.  Got to work, caught myself in the mirror and realized that I look like my mom.  Sure, my mom is beautiful, she was insanely gorgeous when she was young, but man, I would rarely be caught dead in her clothes.  The problem here, I believe, is the shoes.  The very comfortable shoes, which my mom picked out, purchased for me, and then bought herself a matching pair.  I probably never should never have let that happen.

And while I was driving to work there was this whole thing on the radio about the Chinese economy and I got to thinking about how we've completely screwed ourself in the US.  And how it's really this insane culture of consumerism and disposability that has fucked us.  I mean we've sold off our entire manufacturing industry to lowest bidder in Asia and other places, so that can create for us massive amounts of stuff we don't even need.  I mean really, there is nearly NOTHING at Walmart that you or I need. Sure you can get lots of cheap stuff there, but why do you needs many cheap items when perhaps one good one would do whatever the job is?  OF course, obviously, I am as guilty of buy into this consumerist economy as anyone is.  Sure as guilty as I feel about it doesn't seem to stop me too much.  Partly because while I understand this idea of everything each individual does does matters, I'm not sure it's true.  I don't shop at Walmart.  So?  Does that really change the entire culture of my country?  Because a drastic, 180 change is all that is really going to make a difference. In 50 years can we get everyone into the culture of conservationism so fully that we no longer even need to manufacture plastic trinkets and cheap knockoffs overseas? So we can return to manufacturing in this country (using renewable power) and go back balancing our import /export levels?  Can we create enough decent paying jobs for our own citizens so that those same citizens can afford quality items made here and eradicate the needs for using cheap overseas labor?

Ugh, sorry, it's not like I have any new, interesting or original ideas there.  I'm just really bothered by it today.  I will resume (after last weekends retarded mass of shopping) to buy as much as I can used, or made in America, and really just to buy less.  Maybe next week I'll give you my high horse lecture on packaging and how we should all be boycotting the absurd packaging that wasting resources on everything we buy.

And, superficially, and self-servingly, let remind you that my birthday is in 14 days, and if you're so inclined, you should buy me something handmade.

Um, hi.  It's sunny.  I 'll be over here in my mom outfit drinking more coffee and getting to work, yeah?

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hanging out the passenger side of your best friend’s ride

My shoulder, neck and forearm on right side hurt so much I might just go home and drug myself into oblivion.  Note to self: int he future if you are weakened by mild hangover and already exhausted, perhaps don't spend a day on a ladder, arms raised, drilling things that are higher than your head. OW OW OW OW OW.  I am handy.  I do adequate small carpentry work.  It hurts though!  WAH!

Now I am at work and clearly whiny.  Not just the pain, but the cold, cold weather.  Yes, yes, last freeze of the year and on into early summer after, but BRRRRRRR.

Why does the fancy, smooth silk they make dresses and slips and stuff out of never smell like anything, but sweaters made of silk always have that weird silk smell?

The cherry blossoms are gone gone gone.  It's sad but now there's dogwoods and redbuds (I just learned what those were this weekend!). 

I've had the song "Scrubs" stuck in my head since I woke up.

Last night was another night of very interrupted sleep.  At this point I should probably give up caffeine entirely.  But alas, then how would I live?  I will instead go back to being much more diligent about not drinking coffee after noon, as that seemed to help before.

Heh, despite the overall tone of this post, I am actually quite cheerful.  I have a shiny new notebook, I got to work early, I'm wearing a ridiculous sweater. 

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Tennessee is green in spring

Well, the morning started a little wonky.  Overslept, or rather just laid about listening to the rain and thinking about how much I didn't want to get up, which I guess isn't quite the same as oversleeping.  Then I stubbed my toe on the leg of the bed frame.  Dawdled feeding the bunnies until rain let up a bit and finally left my coffee sitting in the living room.  Luckily there is my beloved Turnip Truck to provide me with replacement coffee, a delicious sandwich and pleasent conversation.

I will have a positive mental attitude today!  I will not even talk in detail about much Annoying Co-worker is annoying me.  No, it's water off a duck's back.  I am cheerful and unaffected.

Now I will watch the rain out the window and diligently work until it's time to go play.  Diligently, I tell you!

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fleeting porch of tide

Yesterday I drove down Murphy Rd and the long rows of cherry trees were at their most fleetingly beautiful–when the blossoms still linger but half the tree has already turned toward green rather than it's earlier puff ball of pink foam.  A day or two maybe do they look like that, but so beautiful that I almost wish I could cature it forever.  I can't though.  Believe me, I've tried.  You just have to be there, exactly at the time, seeing it for real. And even your memories won't keep the true beauty of it until you see it again and are reminded.

Cherry blossom season in Tennessee is much shorter than in Washington.  I feel sort of wistful at how quickly it's passing.  Maybe because of that, or maybe because I've just plain lost my mind, I've dressed in a yellow blouse over a green tank today, with jeans and bright green flats.  Taking a stand for disintergrating daffodils everywhere by dressing like one.

Is it too early to eat lunch?  Should I just keep pouring coffee down my throat?  I am so sleep deprived I feel on the verge of nervous break down.  I just couldn't stay asleep last night no matter what I did.  This morning, however, I would really like to be asleep, oh yes I would.

Birthday count: 18 days.

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I was born in the backseat of a Mustang

I have no reason to be in anything other than a good mood today and yet ridiculousness at work seems to be getting the best of me.  I just spent ten minutes on the porch trying to talk myself into a positive mental attitude.

It’s lovely outside, not quite blue-skied, but warm and lovely and scented of spring and joy.  I am dressed for it: black a-line skirt, bright green top, white cardigan, black satin ballet flats printed all over with cherries.

Right now T-Rider is driving through the Arizona desert, which I suspect is kind of boring for him and certainly not one of my favorite things to do, but man, I wish I was there.  I am instead making a list of insanely urgent work things that I can’t solve myself and can’t seem to pin anyone else down to approve.  The huge desert sky, the possibilty of stopping for excellent food and riding along with my feet propped up in the corner of the open window seems exceptionally perfect right now.  But perhaps that’s an “anywhere but here” feeling.

HA!  In further proof the universe does not want me to be in a bad mood, our accounting person just called me to tell me that they were retroactively extending my raised back to Mar 24, instead of Apr 1.  Apparently this makes accounting easier, but more importantly, pays me more for a whole extra week.  Woo!

Birthday is now 22 days away.  That’s three weeks, people.  Hope you’ve all been pooling your cash to buy me that one-way ticket to Barcelona.  And perhaps set me up with someone to marry there, so I can stay.  *sigh*  Yeah, that would better than work today.

Okay. I should be working.  Solving problems.  Reducing my own panic about what isn’t going to get done.


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bleh

Got soaked walking across the street to my car.  Drove home in such heavy rain that the windshield wipers were useless. Hey, rain gods, I want an end to the drought too, but 2" of rain a day seems a little excessive.

Now I am home, bundled in blankets, watching a Viggo Mortensen movie, drinking hot chocolate and feeling fragile and pathetic.  Hey, PMS, I see you in there.  You know, I'm fine with bleeding every month.  Whatevs, cycle of life and all that, but the inability to control my mood really sucks.  Can we just have end to that?

The laptop is keeping my lap warm.  I tried using a bunny to that end for a bit, but it was too wiggly. 

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warning: mood swings every 30 seconds

The real important question to cast out into the universe this morning is, why was Joe Namath in my dreams last night?

And also, I hate our graphic designer at work so much.  I regularly send him the text that needs to be whatever promotional piece.  He repeatedly sends me back designs with key phrases missing because they didn't fit the design he made.  Well buddy, if it's an order form, you can't just leave out all references to it being an order form because it doesn't aesthetically please you.  Yeah, you have to keep the words I send you IN it, and make your ugly designs work.  If I was the boss this guy would have been so fired, so long ago.  Alas, he's like my boss's college roommate or something, so we continue to pay him exorbitant amounts of money to do sub-par work and do it very slowly.

Yes, I am somewhat cranky today.  Sure it is possibly hormonal, but I prefer to blame dreams about Joe Namath (ew, no, not those kinds of dreams).

In much better news, almost all the trees are now dressed in some lacy, new, pale green foliage.  Almost every remaining vestige of winter if falling under the dreamy, lush Tennessee green.  Green green green green.

Hey!  I just found $6 while cleaning out my purse.  Now going to go walk in the sun for a bit and maybe spend my $6 on something.  Like, um, hmm, something!

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still feels like Monday

The grey has reappeared in the last hour or so.  As I was driving to work it was parting, separating in a lumpy, wadded balls of grim bleakness, while letting the brilliant, dreamy, springtime morning sun shine through.  But alas, it seems the sun has lost.

To combat the grey I am wearing bright red shoes.  I find it helps quite a bit.

I don't think a single intelligent sentence left my mouth last night.  Sure I was exhausted, but it was more rabbit induced brain damage causing me to say things like, "Who's a bunny? You're a bunny!" and "No pizza for bunnies!"  This a is a sure sign that the bunnikins need a much better home than I can provide for them.

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i can haz bunys, let me show u

When my alarm went off this morning, I was already at work, sitting at my desk.  I had to take T-Rider to the airport at the fucking asscrack of dawn (yes, it is necessary to use language like that when describing that hour of the morning), and so decided to get an early start.

It's not even worth telling the story, because of the absurdity, but the short of it is, we have some new, temporary additions to our household, let me show you:

So yes.  Um, hey, Nashville peeps, I don't suppose any of you have been looking for pet bunnies and were just waiting for me to offer them to you?

It has been grimly grey for days.  Sure it does actually seem like spring grey and not winter grey, which is good, but man, I'd really like to see the sun.

This morning I discovered that I have now lost so much weight that I can't really wear any of my good professional clothes and look, well, professional.  Most my blouses are darted and so can be taken in, I've taken a few in already, but it looks like I am going pants shopping some time soon.  If only I could actually afford a new wardrobe, but still, I am quite pleased.

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want now!!

There's going to be a movie of The Time Traveler's Wife. Coming out this year.  Oh man, I want to read the book again RIGHT NOW.  Forget work. I want to be reading it now now now.  Such a good book. I hope the movie doesn't suck.  Seriously, I am so excited!

Was actually on time for work this morning, even a little early!  However hair not brushed, but in my defense I broke my hair brush this morning (yeah, don't even ask) and if I'd stopped to get one, I'd have been late.  I do need to start getting to bed earlier.  There's just too much to do in each day!  Also, I do need a minder.  You know, not like a babysitter to make sure I don't choke on my toys, but just someone nicely pointing out the time to me and helping to keep me on track.  It's pathetic really.  The busier I get the less I seem to get done because I get so scattered.  Didn't used to be like this, must be old age setting in.  Speaking of, birthday countdown is at 35 days.

It is COLD today.  Come on March, you are almost done, go out like a lion!  Shake off the cold and get with the fabulous parts of spring.

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can’t hardly wait to smell good in the sun

It is the lovely, delicious, fabulous equinox.  Oh spring, I love you so much. Don't ever leave me again.  Winter is so mean and dreadful, not at all soft and sexy and happy like you are, spring.

Sadly, I didn't realize it was spring until I'd already left for work, otherwise I would have dressed differently.  I feel I should be wearing some flowery, sunny, garden party dress (even to work!) to celebrate the season of light and joy.  Perhaps I will go home and unpack all the spring clothes and store the sweaters–of course that will insure grim and cold tomorrow, ha!

O:BNM update: The blood orange perfume is still lovely, but the sillage sucks and it doesn't really last.  I'm thinking that maybe I'd rather smell like pomegranates than oranges anyway.  The question is, do I want to smell like flowery spring perfume with pomegranate tones in it, or do I want to smell like actual pomegranates?

Yes, I am procrastinating.  It is like crack, once you start, you can't stop.  I might as well give up pretending like I'll get anything done. But I should buckle down and finish the important stuff so I can go outside.  Outside in spring.  I can take off my shoes.  And sit in the sun.  Hurrah. Of course thinking like that isn't making me work any faster.

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EQUINOX YAY

It took yesterday's pouring rain, I guess, for the trees to decide that today, on the FIRST DAY OF SPRING, they needed to burst forth with frothy little chartreuse leaves. SPRING SPRING SPRING.  I would celebrate by skipping out on work and running around the park, but alas, not going to happen in 4" heels.  Perhaps I will celebrate by going to by some walking shoes to keep at my desk for just such emergencies.

Hmm, the whole drive to work I was composing this post in my head and now I've gone a forgotten all of it.  Alas, I guess I will have to go get some work done instead.

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yes, like that

Let me tell you about lunch.  It's sunny, clear, and still outside.  The spring birds are singing all their different songs.  I got a lovely sandwich on crusty french roll that contained bacon, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, red and green peppers, olives and mustard.  I sat on the lovely steps of my office and the sun shined on me and warmed my toes, while I ate my delicious sandwich.  Life is awesome.

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text, buy, freeze, complain

My problem with my idiot coworker is that he quite literally can not troubleshoot his way out of a wet paper bag.  I am really, really tired of the constant interruptions to help him solve some small thing that he should be able to do. That any half-smart, functioning adult should be able to solve.  Combined with his jags of boring, insipid chattiness, it's like he's just here to waste my time.

Pandora is so weird.  My station is set up for music similar to: Amy Rigby, Dale Watson, Drag The River, Lucinda Williams, Old 97's, Ryan Bingham, Son Volt, and The Avett Brothers.  So when it gives me Uncle Tupelo or The Cowboy Junkies or Lyle Lovett it makes sense to me.  The Grateful Dead and Weezer, however, don't seem to fit so well.

I know this coming storm is the last, dying gasp of winter.  I am not bothered by that, as the end is so clearly in sight that it's hard not be excited about impending spring.  But damn, I am cold and I am tired of being cold.  Also I find it relatively unfair that last year on this date it was 71 °F and today it's 34 °F.  Oh, March, you and your crazy ways!  All teasing with spring, and then running rowdily around and throwing snow.  So silly.  Get on out of here so we can have the best month of April. Hmm, maybe April is so fantastic that we can stand to wait through March craziness.  Still though, March, why can't you be more like April?

52 days until my birthday.  I have updated my Amazon wishlist.  Mostly for my mom because I don't think anyone but her and my grandma look at it.  I also have an Etsy favorites list.  I am not soliciting gifts, and I certainly don't expect them from my friends, but if you are so inclined, I encourage you to buy something handmade from Etsy.   Really though, if you want to spend money, you can buy something I made and give it to someone else for my birthday.  Spread the love.

Daylight saving time sucks and is entirely pointless.  My favorite part of the article is the last line.  That's some crack journalism right there.

Speaking of crack, Jezebel.com.  Condensed, compressed, intelligent coverage of trashy, pointless tabloid news.  I love it so much.

I have received 27 text messages in the last 2 hours and 43 minutes.  I love my friends.

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light and joy!

It's doesn't matter that it's cold or that it's supposed to get shittier and colder over the weekend.  I declare spring in the mid-south.  Not just the blossoms, but the birdsong is different, louder and more diverse, the just noticeable difference has hit in the amount and quality of sunlight. The air smells loamy and green and faintly floral.  Spring, spring, spring, spring!!!

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I’ve got the joy joy joy

Ideally, I would leave my house in the morning and drive straight to work, perhaps stopping at the Post Office, which is on the way, and arriving on time.  Turning around and back tracking not once, but twice is less than ideal.  As is being 30 minutes late.  I am perhaps starting to channel Bridget Jones a little too much lately.

Things that are of the good today:

  • My ass looks great in these pants
  • One, lovely, organic, Washington state Braeburn apple, sitting in front of me
  • My friends are awesome
  • There was visible, brilliant, new, chartreuse, baby foliage on the bushes in my yard
  • And this picture I took while on my way to work today:

YES.  This means spring has arrived.  Freezing, snow, other hideous coldness (like last night) are now welcome as they are simply fleeting bumps in the transition that is the joyousness of spring. JOY JOY JOY.

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even more whining, just when you thought it was over

Can't get rid of my headache.  Am now thinking of removing my head. Had movie "date" that fell through, which is probably for the best. Have sacked my to-do list for the evening and am going to fuck off for the rest of the evening even if I feel guilty about it tomorrow.  Honestly, it's like after a weekend of fucking off my brain has just shut down. 

The lightning outside seems to be coming for me.  It's like it's moving right toward me.  Ooh, there's the thunder.  Maybe I should go stand outside.

Seriously though, I am sort of beating myself up for fucking off, but it's actually part of O:BNM.  I'm not really fucking off.  I'm taking time to relax and try and deal with where I am at and everything from the past couple months. It's true.  If only I could just convince myself.

Oooooh, lightning is making the sky purple.  Must go look. Then maybe I will read a book or something so I can say tomorrow that I did something besides watch re-runs on TV.

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