AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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many useless things

Wow this DVD has like 9 previews on it. Ridiculous! And most of them are even vaguely similar to the movie. Bleh. Also, yes, Shoot ‘Em Up is a terrible movie. Really terrible. It seems to be entirely a vehicle for Clive Owen to fire guns, say pithy one-liners, and carry a baby around. So, uh, actually it is fucking awesome. However it’s actually Paul Giamatti who is making it suck, which is weird.

Also I am oddly filed with a “Starbucks is not the enemy” rant, but I’ll tamp it down.

Okay, this didn’t start well. I was going to come and write all full of cheer about how much I love my job. How Boss Daddy and Chef Daddy are the best. Even though I complain about work (who doesn’t?) I do love it. Sometimes the light is just exactly right, and it feels so warm and cozy and safe in the restaurant. Sure customers run the entire range from awesome to heinous, but I genuinely like most all my coworkers.

I am quite sure I am losing my mind. My obsession with sewing and crafting is growing at an insane rate. I am starting to look at things like this and think, oh! yeah, I should totally make one of those. I might need an intervention soon.

It is gorgeous outside. Has been for the last few days. But, wow, chilly out this morning. Like genuinely chilly. Oh fall, I can’t stop being ambivalent about you. I want you, I do love you, you know. But still, you are second best, and you mean oncoming winter. So in the end, you will just break my heart, even if I give you all my love.

(I realize sometimes my posts are disjointed and random, but that’s because I often open a window, start typing, then go do other work and come back periodically all day add a sentence or two until I think I am done.)


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pretty grey day

It’s nearly noon and already I want a nap.  I think I got a lot of sleep last night.  I don’t know.  I’m sure I went to be early but I am not clear on how early.  I only managed to read 5 pages of my book before I dropped it on my face, hurt my nose and decided t go to sleep.  I have been pretty productive today.  Maybe.  I mean if I look at my to-do list for the week, I’ve barely made a dent in it.  But I did a bunch of things that weren’t on the list.  Which I guess I should add to the list, so I can cross them off.

I was actually cold out when I got up this this morning. And by cold I mean, if I was back home, I’d still wear shorts, and maybe a hoodie, but here I’m all ack! Jeans!  Sweater!  Yikes!  It really is impending autumn outside, however.  I think I am happy about that.  I haven’t actually decided yet.


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towns with walls

We made it to Arkansas and back.  I have to say, it really is one of the most depressing states to drive through.  Pretty in and around the mountains, but man, I felt like crying most of the way home.  Hard to explain why, partly the poverty, partly the way American small towns seem so isolated.  The isolation seems so limiting and horrible to me, like we, as a nation, are choosing to turn our backs on influences from the wider world.

I took pictures on the drive home with an actual film camera.  Weird, right? Will post if they actually turn out.

Am totally exhausted, but too much so even get up off the couch and go to bed.  I woke up early, early this morning thinking someone was running a bath in the hotel room–that booming water in small room sound–but it was actually the insane rain from the end of hurricane Ike passing over us.

I don’t know if it was the storm, or the excitement, or being not in my bed, but I had crazy ass dreams too.  Don’t remember enough to relate here, except there were dreams with in dreams and small towns that become huge temples, and visions of cities past that never existed.

Will sleep and maybe make sense tomorrow.


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rainy everything

It’s sort of stormy here.  Though in more gentle way than I’ve come to expect from Tennessee.  It’s grey, windy and probably going to rain some more, but even with the heavy rains it’s oddly mild feeling. People keep saying it feels like fall, and I guess, because it’s grey and cool.  Still the light hasn’t hit that just noticeable difference that really means fall, and the air does not yet have the sweet scent of decaying leaves.  So I’m going to stick with late summer and storms.

However I did buy new jeans and a sweater the other day.  I’ve been talking about corduroy skirts and tights and fall shoes.  The true indicator of season change: when I start thinking about the clothes for the next season.

I spent a bunch of time changing all my auto-pay stuff for my bills (even though I got my cards back after the robbery, I’d already canceled them, so I had to wait for the new ones).  Only discover that I had most the important stuff set up directly from my bank account, rather than on my card number, so that change was unnecessary.  Go me for having the forethought to set things up like that, boo me for not remembering that I’d done it and stressing myself out.

Song for the day: Dolly Parton – Somebody’s Everything (click to download)


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It’s the little things that count

Songs for today:

Cry – The V-Roys (click to download)

I’m Yours if You Want Me – Chris Thile (click to download)

I’m miserable today. No, I don’t want to talk about it. And it’s isn’t just me, a bunch of my friends have been sick or injured lately, a couple lost their jobs. Gas prices. The economy is grim. Blah blah blah blah.

So instead of me continuously dwelling on all that and my own current personal problems, let’s look at the good. (I am not Rebecca of Sunnybrook farm, butgodfuckingdamnit, I am going to look at the bright side if it kills me).

  • The weather in middle Tennessee is GORGEOUS right now. Perfect. Delicious for walking and running in. Beautiful for sitting in. This is the gift we get for the tortuous heat and the ugly winters. It is worth it.
  • We are getting a hammock. Porch sitting in a hammock. Does it get better than that?
  • I’m pushing forward, albeit somewhat slowly, but forward nonetheless, on the new websites. Fear me and the HCT/SROTS girls. We will be media moguls soon. Ruling the world here we come!
  • The art jewelry I’m making is getting closer and closer to perfect. It looks in real life like it does in my head! Hurrah. Working on getting much more made so I can be a rich fashion entreprenuer as well as media mogul.
  • I have dozens of episodes of Scrubs on the DVR to watch instead of feeling sorry for myself so that’s awesome.
  • Miss Sparkle and Ladybug are the best friends ever.  They bring me foodstuffs and ice creams and listen to me whine.  That’s what real love is, people.
  • I have the best momma ever.  And the best sister.  And my extended family is pretty freaking cool too.
  • My toenails are painted a pretty bizarre green color not found in nature.


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the usual, breif, because I should be working

I have been having some seriously messed up dreams.  I can’t remember them when I wake, but I’m left with sense of dread and creepiness.  Bleh.

I find a high of 96°F with a heat index of 107°F to be fairly unbearable.  Yes, I know I live in Tennessee, I know it’s nearly August.  But man, I want to go for a nice afternoon walk outside without giving myself heat stroke and brain damage.

Song for today:  Passionate Kisses – Lucinda Williams (click to download)


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back in the saddle

Last night I fell asleep to the sound of the rain.  This morning I woke up to it again.  Joy!  We really need the water.  And so calming.  Even with the low thunder rolling periodically overhead now, it just feels very peaceful.

I’ve been in absentia from the internets for a while.  My sister was here for ten days and we’ve been running around ding all the fun things I can think of (which, really, isn’t a lot).  We shopped and touristed and hung out and saw movies.  We went to Knoxville for a couple days and visited with Rhi and her beautiful babygirl and husband.  She took us driving around in the mountains.

YIKES!  Okay, that thunder is not peaceful. Yow!

Anyway, my sister is the most amazing, awesome teenage girl ever and I miss her already.  Seriously the world would be a better place if there were many more of her in the world.

Now I am trying not to let overwhelmed by my own to-do list.  I’ve actually made sub-lists in it by subject.  It is large and really I’m not sure where to even start.