Author of the Queen City Boys books


notes from the underground

Two of my friends got married last Sunday.  They didn't tell anyone until Saturday, and then just a few of us.  They had their families meet them in the middle of the pedestrian bridge downtown and had a surprise wedding right there (their families had no idea).  I saw the pictures, everyone looks so happy, so beautiful.  Both of them are still glowing.

I'm a little surprised at myself at how not jealous I am.  I feel full of love and happiness for them, which comes with a lump in my throat and sort of a longing ache in my heart, but the feelings are completely pure and with out malice or negativity (I don't think the mild sadness for my own loneliness is negative, it just is).

At work yesterday there was a little presentation, a thank you for all your hard work to the staff.  Envelopes were handed out with bonuses, such as they are. Except I didn't get one.  My boss is sure he addressed one to me and simply misplaced it. And while that's probably true, it sort sums my current relationship to my job.  I work hard for them, they thank me and then fail to follow through with making the work worth my while. I have been actively looking for a new job, but it's so not easy this time of year and I am quite overwhelmed with other goings on.

My lovely boyfriend remains the one thing I want for Xmas, but I probably won't even see him until the end of January.  UGH.  I need a job with much more money and flexibilty for travel.  While I'm at it I'd like a pony and world peace.

My intern just came in a gave me a very sweet little present that she made.  I almost burst into tears.  I'm a little overwrought about everything right now.  Maybe I'll take a long lunch and try and finish some of my holiday shopping.

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let the world call me a fool

Certainly there was time when if asked what my own personal idea of hell is, I would have had a different answer than I have today.  Today my answer is, "Four hours of Tom Petty songs played by a cover band and sung alternately by talented and utterly inept singers."  Of course in hell it probably lasts more than four hours.  In my reality I guess I should be glad it's only fours hours.  Or should I say there's only four hours left, as I suffered through the four already. And some of it's been good, but some makes me want to jam a pencil in my ear.  (My restaurant is having a fundraiser that involves a benefit show of, yes right, two two-hour sets of Tom Petty covers two nights in a row.)

It's grim and rainy here.  My feet are cold.  I'm so behind on laundry that all I could dig up this morning were thin, non-winter worthy socks.  I did, however, put some laundry in before I left for work. And I have in front of me a cup of coffee and a hot cup of tea.  Although those are really only warming my hands.  Feet so cold that I am considering actually pouring the tea on them. Ha! I just made myself laugh out loud typing that.  I might be a little sleep deprived.

I'm not sure how I feel about my outfit today.  In fact I spent so much time dwelling on it this morning than now I'm considering making a New Year's resolution about incorporating letting go of concerns about my appearance.  But then again looking good makes me feel very happy, so perhaps the trade off is worth it.  I'm not sure.  I need to think about it more.  But I probably won't.

Incredible picture of Pearl Harbor Day at Shorpy.com.

My parents will be here in about 2 weeks.  I have to finish 7 days of entertainment planning for them.  I have to finish holiday shopping.  I have way too much to do.

My boyfriend is 800 miles away.  I probably won't see him until some time in the New Year. And yet he manages to make me start my day with a smile, just with one little email.  How totally awesome is that? I swear I am going to start buying lottery tickets.  You never know, I could win, and then I could see that cute boy all the time.

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