AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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disgruntled toilet seats and boys

You wonder why I am so often disgruntled at my otherwise generally easy job?  Because daily I have to deal with many, teeny, tiny things that build up until I want to explode.  What kind of things? Well, here is an exact copied and pasted comment that my boss put in a document that an intern created: "please go through the document and replace 'fluorescent' with 'fluorescent' (is that how it's spelled?)"

How many hours of my life have I lost, I wonder, at this to staring at statements like that trying to make sense of them?  

In happier news, Kristen is making toilet seat art.  Seriously, how awesome is she?  I have the best friends ever.

Tomorrow, if I can screw up my courage, I am going to do something completely outside my comfort zone in interpersonal relationships.  It's trivial, little thing really, but I have been screwing up my courage all day.  I might puke instead of actually doing it.  Who knew it was so hard to talk to cute boys? UGH.

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text, buy, freeze, complain

My problem with my idiot coworker is that he quite literally can not troubleshoot his way out of a wet paper bag.  I am really, really tired of the constant interruptions to help him solve some small thing that he should be able to do. That any half-smart, functioning adult should be able to solve.  Combined with his jags of boring, insipid chattiness, it's like he's just here to waste my time.

Pandora is so weird.  My station is set up for music similar to: Amy Rigby, Dale Watson, Drag The River, Lucinda Williams, Old 97's, Ryan Bingham, Son Volt, and The Avett Brothers.  So when it gives me Uncle Tupelo or The Cowboy Junkies or Lyle Lovett it makes sense to me.  The Grateful Dead and Weezer, however, don't seem to fit so well.

I know this coming storm is the last, dying gasp of winter.  I am not bothered by that, as the end is so clearly in sight that it's hard not be excited about impending spring.  But damn, I am cold and I am tired of being cold.  Also I find it relatively unfair that last year on this date it was 71 °F and today it's 34 °F.  Oh, March, you and your crazy ways!  All teasing with spring, and then running rowdily around and throwing snow.  So silly.  Get on out of here so we can have the best month of April. Hmm, maybe April is so fantastic that we can stand to wait through March craziness.  Still though, March, why can't you be more like April?

52 days until my birthday.  I have updated my Amazon wishlist.  Mostly for my mom because I don't think anyone but her and my grandma look at it.  I also have an Etsy favorites list.  I am not soliciting gifts, and I certainly don't expect them from my friends, but if you are so inclined, I encourage you to buy something handmade from Etsy.   Really though, if you want to spend money, you can buy something I made and give it to someone else for my birthday.  Spread the love.

Daylight saving time sucks and is entirely pointless.  My favorite part of the article is the last line.  That's some crack journalism right there.

Speaking of crack, Jezebel.com.  Condensed, compressed, intelligent coverage of trashy, pointless tabloid news.  I love it so much.

I have received 27 text messages in the last 2 hours and 43 minutes.  I love my friends.

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weekend update

Rodeo Saturday!  Woo! It was fun.  It was exhibition rodeo, so it was only a couple hours, like 8 rides in 3 events.  We cheered for the Navajo guy and the kid from Washington state.  The crowd seemed relatively uninterested and it became clear later that most of them were there for the Blue Oyster Cult concert afterwards, which we left during the first song.  I mean, yeah, we wanted to hear "Don't Fear the Reaper," but surely they played it last and I didn't want to spend the $8 on a second beer I'd need to make it through a BOC concert.  We wanted rider autographs, but again, not enough to wait in line.

Friday night I worked till about 10, then Jami, Holly and I went for a drink at the nice bar across from our house where they now have three cute waiters (two new ones and the gay one we always have who used to work at the Wash).  We chatted up the waiters as the restaurant emptied out and had a nice girls night out with martinis and all (one never drinks too much when drinks cost that much, yikes).  

Saturday during the day I worked on my new jewelry projects will hopefully I will have pictures of today or tomorrow.  Then Holly and I went to Sephora and the Whole Foods body store and bought good smelling girly things.  Then the rodeo! Wheee!

Sunday we did nothing.  NOTHING!  We manage to buy some groceries and eat and otherwise did nothing but read.  I read Middlesex cover to cover and while I enjoyed it, I didn't love it in the way I expected to. I'm not sure I can pin down why, but while it was immensely readable, interesting and all there wasn't anything that grabbed me about the characters or the story specifically.  I dreamt parts of it last night, but I imagine I'll have forgotten the whole thing in the next 30 hours.

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recycling isn’t always good

Hols and I were let down by the Depots today, both the Home and the Office.  I hate nothing more than ineffective errands.  But then we had brunch today with my best girls.  Champagne cocktails and Heath Ledger movies.  Damn good for a Sunday.  Especially since brunch didn't end until almost 7pm.  Then I worked on my new jewelry project.  I'm hopeful about it, but we'll see, it could still fail miserably.  Now we're watching Hope Floats, which is really depressing. Except, who can resist Harry Connick, Jr.?  Where is MINE?

I think I had a bunch of smart interesting things to write about.  I'm sure I was thinking about them earlier. Who knows what they were.  Instead have a random conversation from my day:

friend: "Oh, you are not…"
me: "Yes, I did bring cupcakes for brunch."
friend: "Yes, yay!  But I was going to say, 'You are not wearing a t-shirt that says I recycle boys!'"
other friend: "Oh my god, you are!"
me: "I am!"
friend: "That is so awesome."

Though as I told Hols, the shirt is really only appropriate for teenage girls, and then not even really.  Like How did this shirt even get made?

All in all a good day.  With a teeny tiny dose of family drama, but I'm currently being utterly avoidant about that.  I've had a bunch of people crawling out the woodwork lately and Jami's sure it a sign of good things to come, life changing and otherwise.  If there's good things in the future, dealing with the nutjob jackassery on the fringes of my family life is small price to pay, right?

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fotografía 022: the prettiest girl I know

Kristen, taken at work tonight. I think she was trying to look serious, but it came off as, "I'm about to hit you in the face, JJ."  Miss K is usually full of smiles for me, but even all intense, like here, she's still the prettiest girl I know.

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bumping along into the abyss

I had weird, weird dreams to start off the New Year.  Now it’s cold cold cold and it keeps snowing, although it’s not sticking at all and very very dry out, so there’s just odd swirls of dry snow blowing across the pavement.  And: Currently At 9:31AM, Mostly Cloudy, 19°F RealFeel® 6°F  SIX!?!?! What the the fuck, January, why must you always be so damn cold?  And it’s not too bad, the office is even kind of warm, except my feet are really cold.  I guess I need a little space heater under the desk.

Apparently 2008 will hold big changes for me, if I take anything Mr. Brezsny says to heart:

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
Week beginning January 3
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):  The average person changes residences 11 times in the course of his or her life. Having lived in 33 different homes so far, I’m way above the norm. What about you, Taurus? I’m guessing that you will either make a major move in the coming year, or else you will find your true spiritual home. Here’s a third possibility: You may penetrate more deeply into your existing abode, transforming it from a place of shelter to a sublime sanctuary — re-imagining it and reinventing it and reinhabiting it with an intensity that amazes you.

True spiritual home sounds good, I wouldn’t mind that.

I’m not really making any resolutions.  Never seems to work out for me.  I am going to commit to getting myself into a better place professionally, and trying to manage my time better so I can fit everything in. I will probably have to sacrifice some of my interests/hobbies.  There literally just aren’t enough hours in a week for me to do all the things I’d like.

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notes from the underground

Two of my friends got married last Sunday.  They didn't tell anyone until Saturday, and then just a few of us.  They had their families meet them in the middle of the pedestrian bridge downtown and had a surprise wedding right there (their families had no idea).  I saw the pictures, everyone looks so happy, so beautiful.  Both of them are still glowing.

I'm a little surprised at myself at how not jealous I am.  I feel full of love and happiness for them, which comes with a lump in my throat and sort of a longing ache in my heart, but the feelings are completely pure and with out malice or negativity (I don't think the mild sadness for my own loneliness is negative, it just is).

At work yesterday there was a little presentation, a thank you for all your hard work to the staff.  Envelopes were handed out with bonuses, such as they are. Except I didn't get one.  My boss is sure he addressed one to me and simply misplaced it. And while that's probably true, it sort sums my current relationship to my job.  I work hard for them, they thank me and then fail to follow through with making the work worth my while. I have been actively looking for a new job, but it's so not easy this time of year and I am quite overwhelmed with other goings on.

My lovely boyfriend remains the one thing I want for Xmas, but I probably won't even see him until the end of January.  UGH.  I need a job with much more money and flexibilty for travel.  While I'm at it I'd like a pony and world peace.

My intern just came in a gave me a very sweet little present that she made.  I almost burst into tears.  I'm a little overwrought about everything right now.  Maybe I'll take a long lunch and try and finish some of my holiday shopping.

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’til you drop

Hols and I went thrift shopping today.  It was grey and damp, though not raining, but like 68°F!!!  Seriously?  So far, best fall ever!  Anyway, we pretty literally shopped all day.  We did get a bunch of practical stuff, like food and gas.  The thrift shopping in Nashville is ridiculously good.  Cheaper than any city I've ever lived in and you find so much stuff that new, but not like the stuff stores some times give when it doesn't sell on clearance, but stuff people clearly bought, never wore and then donated to charity.  I got a pair of indeterminately colored (dark grey/gold/green) knee-high, leather Sam & Libby boots today for $8.  Never worn.  Not even scuffed on the soles.  I also got a couple nice, heavier (wool and corduroy) skirts and two pairs of jeans, each $5 that fit like they were made for me.  I didn't even try them on before buying them, got them home and damn, perfect.  It makes me feel like I won the lottery.  It's kind of ridiculous how little I spent and how much I got.

I also got new underwear (not at thrift stores, no no no) and came home and cleared all the worn old underwear from my drawer which started a chain reaction that ended with me packing away all my cute summer tops and skirts and tidying up all my drawers and shelves and packing up a bunch of stuff to give away (anything that made me feel frumpy is now gone gone gone).

I feel massively accomplished.  My laundry is done.  All my clothes are put away.  I can find stuff!!  Of course I have a ton more stuff I want to finish this evening. Which I should be doing right now, but I'm taking a moment to just sit here in my fuzzy purple socks, sweats and no make-up and enjoying doing fuck-all.  We were going to go to a party, but I couldn't be convinced to get dressed up (even though I really did want to wear my new boots).

Okay, now I am going to make tea, and take pictures of all the new earrings I made.  Then I'm going try and catch up on all the TV I've missed in the last couple weeks. And eat potato chips for dinner. YAY!  Maybe I will even go to bed luxuriously early and get more than 6 hours sleep for the first time in what seems like forever.

Also, there is boy I never seen before, sitting on the porch, outside my kitchen window, playing guitar.  Only in Nashville.

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