AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


4 Comments

stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before

Some mornings I just can't win.  Woke up 40 minutes before my alarm, laid in bed for 20 minutes and fell back asleep about the time I'd decided to get up.  Overslept. Raced around getting ready. Picked clothes that matched.  Got to work, caught myself in the mirror and realized that I look like my mom.  Sure, my mom is beautiful, she was insanely gorgeous when she was young, but man, I would rarely be caught dead in her clothes.  The problem here, I believe, is the shoes.  The very comfortable shoes, which my mom picked out, purchased for me, and then bought herself a matching pair.  I probably never should never have let that happen.

And while I was driving to work there was this whole thing on the radio about the Chinese economy and I got to thinking about how we've completely screwed ourself in the US.  And how it's really this insane culture of consumerism and disposability that has fucked us.  I mean we've sold off our entire manufacturing industry to lowest bidder in Asia and other places, so that can create for us massive amounts of stuff we don't even need.  I mean really, there is nearly NOTHING at Walmart that you or I need. Sure you can get lots of cheap stuff there, but why do you needs many cheap items when perhaps one good one would do whatever the job is?  OF course, obviously, I am as guilty of buy into this consumerist economy as anyone is.  Sure as guilty as I feel about it doesn't seem to stop me too much.  Partly because while I understand this idea of everything each individual does does matters, I'm not sure it's true.  I don't shop at Walmart.  So?  Does that really change the entire culture of my country?  Because a drastic, 180 change is all that is really going to make a difference. In 50 years can we get everyone into the culture of conservationism so fully that we no longer even need to manufacture plastic trinkets and cheap knockoffs overseas? So we can return to manufacturing in this country (using renewable power) and go back balancing our import /export levels?  Can we create enough decent paying jobs for our own citizens so that those same citizens can afford quality items made here and eradicate the needs for using cheap overseas labor?

Ugh, sorry, it's not like I have any new, interesting or original ideas there.  I'm just really bothered by it today.  I will resume (after last weekends retarded mass of shopping) to buy as much as I can used, or made in America, and really just to buy less.  Maybe next week I'll give you my high horse lecture on packaging and how we should all be boycotting the absurd packaging that wasting resources on everything we buy.

And, superficially, and self-servingly, let remind you that my birthday is in 14 days, and if you're so inclined, you should buy me something handmade.

Um, hi.  It's sunny.  I 'll be over here in my mom outfit drinking more coffee and getting to work, yeah?

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

fleeting porch of tide

Yesterday I drove down Murphy Rd and the long rows of cherry trees were at their most fleetingly beautiful–when the blossoms still linger but half the tree has already turned toward green rather than it's earlier puff ball of pink foam.  A day or two maybe do they look like that, but so beautiful that I almost wish I could cature it forever.  I can't though.  Believe me, I've tried.  You just have to be there, exactly at the time, seeing it for real. And even your memories won't keep the true beauty of it until you see it again and are reminded.

Cherry blossom season in Tennessee is much shorter than in Washington.  I feel sort of wistful at how quickly it's passing.  Maybe because of that, or maybe because I've just plain lost my mind, I've dressed in a yellow blouse over a green tank today, with jeans and bright green flats.  Taking a stand for disintergrating daffodils everywhere by dressing like one.

Is it too early to eat lunch?  Should I just keep pouring coffee down my throat?  I am so sleep deprived I feel on the verge of nervous break down.  I just couldn't stay asleep last night no matter what I did.  This morning, however, I would really like to be asleep, oh yes I would.

Birthday count: 18 days.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

how I long for sweet sweet sleep

There's going to be another Bond movie with Daniel Craig? Oh, be still my heart.

Yikes,  I will never get used to thunderstorms in the morning.  It just seems so strange.  I love thunderstorms of all stripes, but the morning ones feel so weirdly out of place to me.  I really do think of them as afternoon and late night things.

I don't think I've had a decent night's sleep in a week.  It's wearing on me in serious way.  Despite that, I look fabulous, at least from the neck down: black trousers, black slingbacks with little buckles, ruffley white blouse with a little black and light blue pattern, black sweater, hair up in princess-y, WASP-y ponytail with a little black headband. And I smell like pomegranates and green leaves and tiny flowers.

I'm all for cover songs. Love them, love variations, love the differences in them.  And not just country songs, but like punk covers of Beatles songs, or ska covers of Duran Duran songs, or you know, whatever.  But really if you are going to make a tribute album to Elliott Smith, maybe shake it up a bit and not have it be full of douchey singer/songwriter types who wish they were as good as Smith?  In that case I'd really rather just listen to the originals. (This rant brought to you by Pandora.com, which is giving me a bunch of garbage this morning.  I feel that the main problem in their programming is that when you create a station, it gives you ways to much half-assed 'sounds like' and almost none of the actual bands you programmed in to it in the first place. Grump grump grump.)

Today I have the urge to listen to nothing but the Old 97s.  Alas I didn't bring my iPod to work and I have none on this computer. Boo hoo.

But tonight Kristen is working!  I haven't seen her in almost a week!  I am so happy to see her again that his morning I danced around my bedroom while getting dressed!  And this weekend will be long and lots of hard work (if I don't wuss out and be lazy and decide I need a mental health break or something) but if I get it all done, my quality of life will be much improved. And hard work never hurt anyone, well unless you hit yourself with a hammer or drop a brick on your own head.

Oy, I just edited this pre-posting, and every place I should have used "a" I had instead typed "the."  What kind of sleep-deprived brain malfunction is that? Yeep.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


9 Comments

breck girl

I woke up late and thought I heard the shower running, but it was the driving, heavy, beating rain.  Ugh. Rushed to work in the nearest clothes I could grab, unbrushed hair and no make up.   Fortunately a friend of a friend is training at a fancy salon and needed hair models this morning, so now I have fabulous hair if nothing else.  Unfortunately I just realized while taking pictures of said hair that I have black bra and white shirt on.  Did I mention I was rushed today?

Hmm, the pictures don't do it justice.  It's all flippy, cute, Lauren Graham hair.  YAY!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

you wish your life was this exotically exciting

I had an excellent weekend.  I actually got a fair amount done (not everything on the list, never everything on the list) and had tons of extra super awesome fun.  If half the weekends in my life were as good as the past one, I might be the happiest person alive.  Of course I'd also probably be unbearable to be around.

In O:BNM news, I gave myself a manicure last night, painted my nails a lovely brick red.  I have not painted them in, quite literally, years, as my nails are always either cut short as a practicality, or damaged from doing wire work.  I've forgotten how nice it is to type and look down and see such pretty nails.  It's fleeting, as it probably won't last more than a day, but it was worth it.

Also I weighed myself last night, for the first time in a very, very long time.  Discovered that I am only 5 pounds from my ideal weight.  How awesome is that?  However, weight loss should come with some sort of financial award, as how else can one afford to buy all new pants?  Today's slacks, not worn for a couple months, are just this side of unwearable, in terms of fit.

My ridiculously useless co-worker just came in, all full of anxiety, unsure of what to do, huge emergency!  The emergency?  Our boss is not in the office, and co-worker needed to ask him something!  What to do? I suggested using a new-fangled device called the telephone.  So far it seems to be working out for him. 

Kristen has finished her third toilet seat.  You better get your order in fast.  I'm telling you soon she's going to only be making them for celebrities and telling her story on Oprah.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


6 Comments

cranktastic

How is it that I can go to Walgreens, or CVS or whatever, to get tampons or kleenex and a new toothbrush, and I come out $40 lighter?  I know it's my own insanity.  I'll be walking through thinking, "I've got great black mascara, and that brown is pretty good, but I hate the brush on the brown-black one."  And suddenly I'm spending 15 minutes in the make up aisle contemplating different brands of mascara before wandering off to find some shampoo that seemed promising from the commercial.  *sigh* Consumer hell.  I really need to go on a 60 day no buying anything but food cleansing.  Hmm, maybe starting in April.  As I was walking to and from Walgreens, I was cracking up over this.

I came home last night, exhausted, super cranky and starving only to discover that the internet and the cable were out and there was no food in the house. Ugh.  Fortunately Holly came home not long after and rescued me by going to get Mediterranean food and listen to me complain endlessly about Comcast.  (Love calling them because invariably it's, "yes, there have been outages reported in your neighborhood." Well fucking great, what are you doing about it?)

The only bright spot in my day is work tonight. I mean I don't even want to go, Painful Sets Tuesday, whooo, but hey, Kristen is probably working and that always the best part of my week. Well except for maybe when Jami comes by unexpectedly and entertains me when I'm doing something I'd rather be procrastinating on.  And new shoes would be awesome, but I don't have any money, so I'll have to settle for Kristen.  Not that it's settling, but, um, yeah, I'll just stop now.  Is it lunch time yet? Oh, it is? Woo!

I hate all my shirts today.  I think it might be time to rotate out whatever I deemed spring clothes last year and put in storage.  I don't even care about being cold any more, I just can't stand any of these sweaters and misshapen long sleeve tees.  I want cute shirts, damn it.  And sandals, but I can hold out another month or so for those.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

crankypants are itchy

I am irritable today.  I blame the rain.  Though it's supposed to be nice this weekend, so I'm trying to remain positive.

One of my interns is endlessly chattering at me, about her bank balance, her date last night (worthwhile, they did spend most of the night in the emergency room after he choked on his first bite of dinner), her Yankees tickets, her hair, things she seems to be reading off the internet.  None of which is work related, all of which indicates that she is not working while she's here.  And hey, I'm the queen of fucking off at work (I'm doing it right now!) but I don't go endlessly, stream of consciousness, chatting about it to everyone in earshot.  Also when she does it it encourages Annoying Coworker, and he comes wandering in and starts hemming and hawwing and fidgeting and stuttering out his own boring insipidness.

Man, some times I'm just an awful person.  I should delete that last paragraph.

I look cute today though.  My new, single digit sized jeans (which are actually perhaps a little loose), caramel colored cowboy boots, tan sweater, dark burgundy levi's jacket, hair in braids, giant earrings.

I was going to write a long missive on weight loss and how now that I've inadvertantly lost a bit I'm more inspired to try harder to exercise, etc.  However, I won't bore you, and will instead go try and get all my work done so I can hopefully upgrade my computer before I go home.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


6 Comments

woo!

So in continuing yesterday's extreme shallowness, let me share my joy with you.  I went jeans shopping yesterday, after thinking way too much about it.  I'm in single digit sizes, people!  Single digits.  For the first time in, um, a long time, maybe a decade?  And I haven't even been doing anything. I'm eating better I think, and I walk more, but I haven't been like actively trying to do anything to lose weight, so it's kind of thrilling.

The new Dolly Parton album is is completely outstanding.  Oh, Dolly, could I love you any more?  I think not!

Um, what else? It's sunny, which is like instant better mood for me.  How I lived for so many years in the PNW is beyond me.  Seriously, just a few minutes in the sun and it's like I've been totally recharged.

Now all I need to do is check my powerball numbers and see if I can quit my job. 🙂

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


6 Comments

I am in extra super procrastination mode today

Things concerning me right now:

  • can I wear yellow?
  • should I take the freeway or go through town to run my errands today?
  • if I can ever find a decent fitting pair of jeans, should I buy half a dozens pairs of them and be done with?
  • will it ever stop snowing?
  • why is my tattoo so incredibly, grossly scabby on the tender inside of my arm?
  • what if spring never, ever comes?
  • does anyone actually listen to Radiohead? Why?

Things I have recently learned:

  • if one gets epoxy in their hair, and doesn't notice until it's set, it's probably best to just cut it out, instead of trying to comb through it
  • tattoos hurt. I always forget.
  • I hate all my shoes
  • I can't really wear bright red

Things I want:

  • new jeans
  • new shoes
  • a pedicure
  • a massage
  • a 26 year old lover who looks like Brad Pitt.  Though I guess I'd settle for Joaquin Phoenix or Matt Damon

Ugh.  Reading this makes me feel shallower than I know I am.  Does it matter that when I can't sleep I read Rilke? Ha! Didn't think so.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


6 Comments

political tattoos dressed up for cold weather lunch with neurotic coworkers

I listened to this entire interview with Congressman Patrick Murphy (D, PA) this morning. Man, forget Obama, he's all idealistic and great speaker and all, but where are all the politicians like Murphy?  If guys like this were running the country I'd feel so much more proud.  Plus don't you just want to pinch his little cheeks?

I just realized that I need to call and confirm my tattoo appointment for Saturday, which made me realize, secondarily, holy shit, new tattoo! On Saturday!  I'm glad I was able to forget it.  The anticipation always kills me.  Of couse now I am totally obsessing about it and there's still DAYS to wait.  *sigh*   (AHAHAHAHA!  Just as I was typing this Pandora gave me Lucero's "All Sewn Up (in Bad Tattoos)".)

In a conversation this morning, I said, "I need a huge lump of cash so I can make my whole work wardrobe 'sexy librarian' and keep the casual wear at 'cowgirl.'"  I amuse myself so much.  But really, I think this a great idea.  This concept brought to you by today's out fit: pointy, pointy black heels, dark blue trousers, white blouse, floral cardigan in two shades of blue, hair in a bun, minimal make-up. Mmmmm, librarian sexy.

If I has a choice, I'd vote for no more temperatures below 40°F.  I am so tired of being cold. I can't seem to spend enough time complaining about how spring isn't arriving early.

I can't decide if I should just my lunch now, or eat a bunch of Girl Scout cookies and save lunch for later.  I'm not even sure I'm hungry exactly.  Just bored.

I just noticed that my hideous coworker has a 16 oz pump bottle of hand sanitizer on his desk.  Yikes.  I maintain that hand sanitizer is only for when you do not have access to soap and water.  Needing a huge bottle of it on your desk in a building with functioning plumbing? A definite sign of serious issues.

Every section in this post starts with "i" except this one.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

sleep, snow, shoes

Number of times I was awake and actively up last night: 4.  Ouch.  My kingdom for a decent night's sleep.

You know what would be great? If every time I put on heels and hose in the morning, I could walk outside and find it NOT snowing.  Granted it was just slight, non-sticking, teeny flurry this morning, but still!  Every time I try for something other than bulky sweaters and boots the weather defeats me. ARG.

My shoes are cute, but really designed for feet shaped much different than mine. Which is sad because they are a spendy brand of shoes, designed specifically to be very comfortable and they are not.

I have less than nothing of interest to say today, apparently.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


1 Comment

sandwiches and shoes

67°F!! In February!  Granted it's grey and raining, but hey!  Not complaining over here.  Wooo!  When I got home last night it was warmer outside than it was in the house (and it was still tolerable in the house).

I started my new jewelry project last night.  It's awesome. Everyone will think so.  Okay, not everyone, but literary nerds will.  And as far as I know, there's a bunch of those.  I also bought new shoes last night to comfort myself after car fiasco. Now, admittedly I have a lot shoes already, but these are new everyday shoes. Which means, for me that they will get worn approximately 27 times more often than all the rest of my shoes put together. I hesitated a little in buying them because there was recently a conversation in a friends blog about mary-janes not being work appropriate, especially for women over 30, but you know, after having given it way too much thought, I think they just aren't the little girl shoes they once were.  I mean sure, in some styles they can be kind of fetishy, but I think we've sort of taken that power away from them by wearing them so much in so many configurations.  Plus, I'm not much of a fan of shoes that lace up and I like my shoes to stay on my feet, so mary-janes are the most practical. Can be worn with a skirt or jeans, blah blah blah, justified.  Also regular readers will remember a few years ago when I was waffling over buying brown shoes.  What would I do with brown shoes? What would I wear with them? Ha!  Things have now shifted so much that my new everyday shoes are brown, as I couldn't get black because they don't really go with much that I wear now!

Wow, holy shoe sidetrack! Anyway, last night I also made chicken salad, so I have some for lunch today.  I make great chicken salad.  And you know, I don't even like chicken salad and mine is awesome.  Or maybe I don't like it because mine so superior? I don't know.  I'm having it for lunch with baby spinach, for the healthiness, but really it deserves nutty whole grain bread, spring lettuces and a side of pickled beets. Man, what I wouldn't give for a close by, Seattle style, hippy dippy, bistro-y sandwich place.  It's all well and good to recreate it in my kitchen, but it just isn't the same.

For the Lenten season I am giving up nothing because I am not Catholic.  Although I like the idea of it (Lent, not Catholicism, well kind of Catholicism, but, oh never mind).

And now for the picture portion of our show.

Every day shoes, super cute skirt.  And yes, I do realize that wearing knee-high socks and an above the knee skirt with mary-janes completely negates my "mary-janes aren't little girly" argument.  Such as I am, full of contradictions.

I'm crafty!  Charms made of old bookbinder's imprints, vintage bookstore logos and publishers imprints decoupaged on to Scrabble tiles.  These will become a series of pendants and bracelets and other incredibly cool things.  There's also going to be a few with old stamps and postmarks on them.  Hopefully these will done and all by this weekend.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

I’d rather have cute shoes than eat food

I have no will power. Not when it comes to shoes (or hot guys, but that's not a story for public forums).  But see I've been wanting Vans for a long time. They are perfect for work and the restaurant and just all around awesome.  Sure I wanted the Johnny Ramone ones, but I couldn't justify $55.  But now I've gone and spent $50 anyway.  But hey, I got TWO pairs:

Brown ones and black ones.  Really perfect.  Seriously, I can wear them all the time.  I need no other shoes for work unless I feel the need to be extra cute or super slutty.  And for $20 each, I feel justified. Mostly.  I will be eating ramen until the end of time.  At least I can eat for free at work most nights of the week.  While wearing my cute shoes.

I might have to give up on the pic a day thing.  I just cannot remember to take pictures.  Now I'm like 8 days behind.  I could give my self a break a start again since it's Feb 1, a good restart date. Hmm, let me think about this.  Maybe I can forgive myself the missed days?

I am officially over wearing boots and sweaters.  Every fall I get so excited about them and then Feb hits and I am done, stick a fork in me.  I want sandals! Flippy skirts!  One shirt instead of a million layers. So weather, I'm telling you, quite with the cold.  I want spring and I want ti now.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

is it over yet?

It's WAY too cold.  After yesterday's balmy spring-like temps and last night's insane windstorm it should just not be this cold at 11 am when it's this sunny out.  BRRRRR!

I am cranky today.  The smallest things are irritating me.  

So I wrote way, way back that the idea of Guiliani vs. Clinton race was utterly abhorrent to me.  I'd probably abstain from voting at all.  Now people are talking McCain vs. Obama, which well, I'd go with Obama, I guess.  Not so much from party loyalty exactly (fucking Democrats, arg), but because Sen. Kennedy endorsed Obama and whithers goes my tribe as goes Teddy K. But I was listening to the radio this morning talking about the FL primaries and future possibilities and I realized that if it came down to a McCain vs. Clinton race, I'd have to back McCain.  I've been saying forever that people, in general, probably unconsciously, vote for the candidate they'd most like to have a beer with.  It's how Bush got elected in the first place.  A coworker asked me last night about Obama, she said they rest of the staff was behind him but they weren't really sure why (as they don't follow politics enough to worry about policies or anything).  I am sure why, because we work in a bar and Obama is the only candidate on the liberal side that we'd want to come hang out and drink with us. Period.  It's the way the populace votes.  I have other reasons to dislike Hilary, but mostly there's no way she'll manage to come across as someone warm, pleasant and friendly enough to hang out with for a Pabst and therefore she's unelectable. Also Edwards dropping out is a big time bummer. And I am so tired of this election already.

I want new shoes.  Instead I will pay bills.  Boo.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

clothing, food and shelter from the elements

I know I've said it before but Tennessee weather is spastic.  It's all over the place.  Today it feels like Spring might be lurking around the corner, though I'm sure it'll be hideously cold again before that is a true fact.  The high temps for the next week or so are in the 40s and low 50s which back home is surely impending Spring, but I am not yet convinced if it's imminent arrival.  However, I'm not wearing a coat today and it's still January, so that's AWESOME.

Last night I went with a guy I know to help him pick out new frames for his glasses.  He got some great ones and kept saying to me, "I never would have picked these for myself." Well, duh, that's why you asked me along!

Then I found surprisingly decent Japanese food at a little hole in the wall place. I had unagi!  Life is in balance again!  Mmmm, eel.

I am trying to dress better lately.  Which isn't to say I'm always in sweatpants or anything, but while I do mostly dress up to go out, I generally try to get away with bare minimum of acceptable for work or whatever. And yes, I have been watching WAY too much What Not To Wear (for which I can blame Hols).  So it's blouses instead of t-shirts.  Someday I will actually get up early enough to put on make-up before work.  Though for that I need a job that caters to hours my body wants to function (up late, sleep late). Anyway, yesterday I didn't want to drive back across the bridge after work because I had to meet someone on this side of town anyway, so I went shopping.  Now I have less than no money and should not be shopping, but I swear, sometimes it's like Southern Thrift is run by magic fairies who just want me to have things. I got an amazing dress (which I have no place to wear–seriously I need a boyfriend, just one who will take me places, so I have reason for my dresses), 6 light, summery-spring blouses and an awesome t-shirt for $17, total! Today I am wearing a cute brown blouse with white and blue pinstripes, a white cardigan, blue jeans and brown loafers.  I am being much more careful about clothes buying than I ever have been (not just the no money, but no need for things I like but won't wear) and am trying to create and keep a master list of the few pieces of clothing I need for wardrobe perfection.  Shoes of course do not count in this moderation.  One can never have too many shoes. And spring needs to come NOW.  I am so ready to pack up the damn sweaters and go back to wearing flips flops and light skirts.

ARGH!  Someone brought in air freshener for the work bathroom, that is really some hippie concoction of crazy essential oils.  It's really, really strong.  Like one tiny spritz of it fills up the building with it's noxious hippie scent.

Okay, let's try this rec me something thing again.  This time tell me about someone in your Vox Neighborhood who you think I should be reading their blog.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

the shoe is the thing

So it's roughly 90 days until my birthday. You know every year about this time I start counting down to my birthday. Like, ohmigod it's coming! And then it rolls around and the most ever manage to do to celebrate is maybe dinner with my family. I'm big on having no expectations for things, to prevent disappointment.  However, in this case, it seems like my birthday is always all build up and no pay off.  And I am so not complaining about this.  I rarely regret not making a big production of anything.  I do however, really enjoy the count down.  So think of it as your gift to me to listen to me rattle on about age, experience and other crap and bubbly, joyously count down for the next three months.

The QotD is about keeping clam and you know, I'm not calm.  I try and I know I often appear calm, but my general states are happy spastic and panic, neither of which is calm.  What does calm me down is shopping.  Shallow as that may be, it is for a me such focus exercise that I can do sort of a Zen removal from the every day and my other cares.  Even if I don't buy anything, the actual act of shopping completely calms me.

In the vein, I have been online shopping this morning to procrastinate from work, and to keep my blood pressure down from dealing with the people here.  So far I have found my annual spring anticipation list of shoes that I surely cannot live without, but will probably never get around to buying (so if I do drop dead suddenly, you can all attribute it to never having acquired the following shoes):

Megara

Edina

Rich N Hitched

Super Duper

Johnny Ramone or Rose Tattoo

Garmen

Legend Bramble (these I may have to spend my tax return on, as I tried them on last week and they are dreamy).

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


1 Comment

Vive ut vivas

Only two songs recs?  C’mon people!

Operation: Be Nice to Me (subsequently known as O:BNM) has thus far resulted in me using fancy fig & lavendar body wash instead of plain old soap and today I am wearing a lovely skirt that I got in Amsterdam a couple years ago and my sexier pair of knee-high boots.  I smell good and I feel all chic and cosmopolitan (despite the fact that I couldn’t sleep again last night and was thus super late for work and didn’t bother to brush my hair or anything).  I’ve also changed the name of this blog to “vivat crescat floreat,” the Latin for “may it live, grow, and flourish!”  In the interest of positivity and my maintaining a general great outlook.


5 Comments

it’s like, um, totally frumpy, but like, I can do better with my nice things

Validated: quotative like.

I just got a message from a vague acquaintance (a friend of an old fling), asking if she had heard correctly that I was doing the booking at the Station Inn. Um, no? And if someone is perpetuating such rumours about me can they please make an equivalent job materialize with it?

Breszny-scope:
Week beginning January 24
Copyright 2008 by Rob Brezsny

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “In the human heart new passions are forever being born,” said French writer Francois de La Rochefoucauld. “The overthrow of one almost always means the rise of another.” I suppose that’s true. We all have longings that come and go as we evolve. But I’d also like to propose an equally valid and contradictory truth: In every human heart there are a few passions that last a lifetime. They’re with us from the moment we’re born, and nothing can dilute their intensity. Our destiny revolves around them. These are the passions I hope you will define with precision and nurture with alacrity during the next eight weeks.

What does that even mean?

I’m feeling fairly old and frumpy today.  Timmy Mac tells me my new MySpace picture (taken today) makes me look like a pretty British girl. He flatters, as he always does, however, I’m so full of my own frumpiness that I can’t help but wonder if he means I’m hiding bad teeth or something. Then again maybe it’s because I tried to set it as my profile pic and it scrunched up funny and made me look all distorted and that’s unhappy making. (eta – I’ve decided I hate it and thus have taken it down and replaced it with a much better one.)Yesterday I resolved to do more nice things for myself. I have this weird habit of buying things for myself, like fancy body wash, or jewelry, or clothes that are nice and then not ever using/wearing them.  It’s like I think I need to save them for some special occasion which never arrives.  So I am resolving to use all the nice bath products, wear the lovely clothes etc. for no reason at all other than I like to look good and smell pretty. No point in having nice things if they just gather dust, yeah?

I have 4 eMusic downloads left for the month.  Everyone rec me a song you think I might like and might not have. Go!

Read and post comments | Send to a friend


Leave a comment

’til you drop

Hols and I went thrift shopping today.  It was grey and damp, though not raining, but like 68°F!!!  Seriously?  So far, best fall ever!  Anyway, we pretty literally shopped all day.  We did get a bunch of practical stuff, like food and gas.  The thrift shopping in Nashville is ridiculously good.  Cheaper than any city I've ever lived in and you find so much stuff that new, but not like the stuff stores some times give when it doesn't sell on clearance, but stuff people clearly bought, never wore and then donated to charity.  I got a pair of indeterminately colored (dark grey/gold/green) knee-high, leather Sam & Libby boots today for $8.  Never worn.  Not even scuffed on the soles.  I also got a couple nice, heavier (wool and corduroy) skirts and two pairs of jeans, each $5 that fit like they were made for me.  I didn't even try them on before buying them, got them home and damn, perfect.  It makes me feel like I won the lottery.  It's kind of ridiculous how little I spent and how much I got.

I also got new underwear (not at thrift stores, no no no) and came home and cleared all the worn old underwear from my drawer which started a chain reaction that ended with me packing away all my cute summer tops and skirts and tidying up all my drawers and shelves and packing up a bunch of stuff to give away (anything that made me feel frumpy is now gone gone gone).

I feel massively accomplished.  My laundry is done.  All my clothes are put away.  I can find stuff!!  Of course I have a ton more stuff I want to finish this evening. Which I should be doing right now, but I'm taking a moment to just sit here in my fuzzy purple socks, sweats and no make-up and enjoying doing fuck-all.  We were going to go to a party, but I couldn't be convinced to get dressed up (even though I really did want to wear my new boots).

Okay, now I am going to make tea, and take pictures of all the new earrings I made.  Then I'm going try and catch up on all the TV I've missed in the last couple weeks. And eat potato chips for dinner. YAY!  Maybe I will even go to bed luxuriously early and get more than 6 hours sleep for the first time in what seems like forever.

Also, there is boy I never seen before, sitting on the porch, outside my kitchen window, playing guitar.  Only in Nashville.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend