AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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internet, babies, banks and lip balm

The internet has been out most of the morning at work.  This means less fucking off, but also less work, since a good portion of my job requires me to answer email or submit things online.  *sigh*

I went to buy a new hairbrush this morning and my card wouldn't work. Hmm, hmm, hmm.  So I called, as you do, and was informed that there was a hold on my account.  Until 2 pm today.  Why?  Because last night an electronic transaction for deposit and withdrawl went through at the same time. Um, what? a) I'm not sure how this is my problem, and b) if they've solved it, whatever the actual problem was, why shut down my account until 2 pm?  Does something magic happen at 2 pm. Was there a fear I'd withdraw all my funds, sticking the bank with $76 in uncleared checks, and run off to Mexico to never be seen again, and that risk is over at 2 pm?  And how is this my problem? I mean I honestly understand less and less of banking as it becomes more electronic and seemingly less based in reality.  Blah blah blah blah blah.

Burt's Bees now makes lip balm with pomegranate oil in it.  I am so excited.  However, it also has something else in it which smells sort of old lady like.  Camphor or something, I'm not sure exactly.  But the pomegranate will make me at least use for a week and see if I can get over the old lady aspect.

Am much better than yesterday.  Exercise, mental and otherwise, and meditation have driven back the beast.

This week is WAY too long, and alternately much too short, depending really on if I am in my office or anywhere else in the world.

I had a really, really weird dream last night in which I had sextuplets, 4 girls and 2 boys, in secret, like managed to hide the pregnancy from my friends in baggy sweatshirts, etc. (yeah right). And then the father raised them all as single parent, with help from me and other friends, but no one ever knew I was actually the mother. It was really weird, not just in content, but rather than being a stress dream as pregnancy dreams usually are, it was all kind of calming and relaxing and without angst despite the secret birthing and all.  I think this is a sign that my decision to remain childless is the right one.  They were really cute babies though (all six of them, ack!).

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even more whining, just when you thought it was over

Can't get rid of my headache.  Am now thinking of removing my head. Had movie "date" that fell through, which is probably for the best. Have sacked my to-do list for the evening and am going to fuck off for the rest of the evening even if I feel guilty about it tomorrow.  Honestly, it's like after a weekend of fucking off my brain has just shut down. 

The lightning outside seems to be coming for me.  It's like it's moving right toward me.  Ooh, there's the thunder.  Maybe I should go stand outside.

Seriously though, I am sort of beating myself up for fucking off, but it's actually part of O:BNM.  I'm not really fucking off.  I'm taking time to relax and try and deal with where I am at and everything from the past couple months. It's true.  If only I could just convince myself.

Oooooh, lightning is making the sky purple.  Must go look. Then maybe I will read a book or something so I can say tomorrow that I did something besides watch re-runs on TV.

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blahblahblah-case-of-the-mondays-blah

My horribly loud neighbors who live in the back apartment got a drum set.  Because they weren't loud enough already.  I had to go over at 11pm and have the following exchange with them:

Me: *knocks*
Boy: *opens doors, smiles* Hey what's going on?
Girl: *comes up behind him holding drum sticks, smiles* Hey girl.
Me: *stares*
Boy: *looks pleasant but vacantly expectant*
Girl: *look of understanding slowly crosses her face* Oh, were we too loud?
Me: Yeah, the drums are going to have to be a day time thing.  It's not just the noise, but it's vibrating the floors all the way through the house.
Girl: Sorry.
Me: No trouble, thanks for keeping it down.

SERIOUSLY? Is there any, ANY, circumstance when I should have to tell someone who lives in an apartment that playing the drums at 11pm, particularly on a week night is unacceptable?

So they finally shut up and I go into my room only to discover that my beloved neighbor J has gone out and left her stereo on very loudly.  Or maybe not even that loudly, but her stereo is right on the other side of my bedroom wall and I can hear it clearly enough to distinguish the lyrics in every song.  Fortunately that can be cured with earplugs in a way drums vibrating the floor cannot.

Earplugs in I then proceeded to stay up WAY too late reading.  So I can't even really blame anyone else for my exhaustion and crankiness today. Boo.

I have a headache.  The wind is interfering with an otherwise perfectly lovely spring day. And it's irritating me by being loud and rattly around the office.  I have a shit-ton of work and I can't concentrate at all.

I didn't get hardly anything done this weekend, though I'm not complaining or beating myself up, as I generally rested and watched movies and screwed off in a way I haven't done in forever. However, after all that I feel like I should be in a decent mood, if not an excellent one, this morning.  Instead I feel like I climbing back into bed and crying. It's not even PMS or anything.  I just really really really do not want to be at work right now.

Hmmm, reading through my past few posts I'm seeing a trend.  If this keeps up I'll be in a perfectly cheerful mood tomorrow for no reason at all and then go right back to cranky again.

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crankypants are itchy

I am irritable today.  I blame the rain.  Though it's supposed to be nice this weekend, so I'm trying to remain positive.

One of my interns is endlessly chattering at me, about her bank balance, her date last night (worthwhile, they did spend most of the night in the emergency room after he choked on his first bite of dinner), her Yankees tickets, her hair, things she seems to be reading off the internet.  None of which is work related, all of which indicates that she is not working while she's here.  And hey, I'm the queen of fucking off at work (I'm doing it right now!) but I don't go endlessly, stream of consciousness, chatting about it to everyone in earshot.  Also when she does it it encourages Annoying Coworker, and he comes wandering in and starts hemming and hawwing and fidgeting and stuttering out his own boring insipidness.

Man, some times I'm just an awful person.  I should delete that last paragraph.

I look cute today though.  My new, single digit sized jeans (which are actually perhaps a little loose), caramel colored cowboy boots, tan sweater, dark burgundy levi's jacket, hair in braids, giant earrings.

I was going to write a long missive on weight loss and how now that I've inadvertantly lost a bit I'm more inspired to try harder to exercise, etc.  However, I won't bore you, and will instead go try and get all my work done so I can hopefully upgrade my computer before I go home.

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