AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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pout

I should have gone to bed 20 minutes ago.  I am unreasonably exhausted, cranky and at loose ends.  Instead I am awake, watching Onegin, a movie about which I know nothing, which is perhaps too boring for this hour in my life. All it has served to do so far is make me wish that I was lying on pillow in a row boat in a little lake on my own huge estate, reading a book on a perfect summer day.  So really it isn’t improving my mood at all.

I can’t decide if I should eat another cookie, eat the rest of the guacamole, or perhaps make some real food.  Or just have a glass of wine. I should be in bed, under the fluffy fall covers, reading and looking forward only to the impending morning sounds of migrating birds.

Amusingly the recent top searches that have brought people to this blog are:

  • my head hurts i’m weak
  • feel weak and head hurts
  • come out of the s&m closet
  • overwhelmed and unable to prioritize on
  • cops in dreams
  • what does whopperjaw mean
  • tom waits paper doll
  • the land of the sneezes
  • crackerjack kinda guy

Very funny.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and pathetically, whinily say there is no crackerjack kind of guy. If there was I’d surely have found him by now.

Hmmm.  Cookies? Wine? Get off my ass, put the computer down and go read in bed?  I should take my lavender kiwi scented candle with me.  It smells lovely.  Maybe it can cure my foul mood and give me dreams of lovelier things.

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want nanas

If I could be doing anything in the world right now, I’d make banana bread. But I don’t have any bananas.  Or, I think, flour, or most any of the ingredients.  Alas.

I had a fabulous weekend.  Amazing weekend.  Tonight though I feel a little temper-y and out of sorts.  Maybe I just don’t like the idea of the weekend being over.  Or maybe I just really want banana bread and I don’t have any. There’s nothing to do about it but pout pout pout.

Do you think I could train a monkey to do my laundry?  Where would I got a monkey?  Would the cost of feeding it be worth having to not do my own laundry?


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boohoo and linky linky

I'm not having a good day.  No, I don't want to talk about it.

Also I'm getting a fairly hideous headache.  And my boss is ten minutes late for our meeting. If he's not here in another five I am going home.

In lieu of my own content, links:

Maybe everything would be better if I had one of these:

humorous pictures
see more crazy cat pics

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it’s been a nice day

I had the kind of day where I just couldn't control my temper.  Ugh.  It's awful.  It's embarrassing.  Fortunately because of this, everyone at work is so terrified of me that no one will say anything to me.

I got some heinous but necessary errands done.  Then I came home and decorated my room a little and had dinner with Jami and Hols.  We made a fast, delicious dinner and sat on the porch and ate and talked and everything in the world is right again.

Now I am in my PJs at 8 pm, laying bed with ,my laptop waiting for T-Rider to call me.

Hopefully tomorrow will be good all day.  Hopefully it will be warm and beautiful again so I can enjoy it without being unreasonably angry at the world.

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I was born in the backseat of a Mustang

I have no reason to be in anything other than a good mood today and yet ridiculousness at work seems to be getting the best of me.  I just spent ten minutes on the porch trying to talk myself into a positive mental attitude.

It’s lovely outside, not quite blue-skied, but warm and lovely and scented of spring and joy.  I am dressed for it: black a-line skirt, bright green top, white cardigan, black satin ballet flats printed all over with cherries.

Right now T-Rider is driving through the Arizona desert, which I suspect is kind of boring for him and certainly not one of my favorite things to do, but man, I wish I was there.  I am instead making a list of insanely urgent work things that I can’t solve myself and can’t seem to pin anyone else down to approve.  The huge desert sky, the possibilty of stopping for excellent food and riding along with my feet propped up in the corner of the open window seems exceptionally perfect right now.  But perhaps that’s an “anywhere but here” feeling.

HA!  In further proof the universe does not want me to be in a bad mood, our accounting person just called me to tell me that they were retroactively extending my raised back to Mar 24, instead of Apr 1.  Apparently this makes accounting easier, but more importantly, pays me more for a whole extra week.  Woo!

Birthday is now 22 days away.  That’s three weeks, people.  Hope you’ve all been pooling your cash to buy me that one-way ticket to Barcelona.  And perhaps set me up with someone to marry there, so I can stay.  *sigh*  Yeah, that would better than work today.

Okay. I should be working.  Solving problems.  Reducing my own panic about what isn’t going to get done.


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bleh

Got soaked walking across the street to my car.  Drove home in such heavy rain that the windshield wipers were useless. Hey, rain gods, I want an end to the drought too, but 2" of rain a day seems a little excessive.

Now I am home, bundled in blankets, watching a Viggo Mortensen movie, drinking hot chocolate and feeling fragile and pathetic.  Hey, PMS, I see you in there.  You know, I'm fine with bleeding every month.  Whatevs, cycle of life and all that, but the inability to control my mood really sucks.  Can we just have end to that?

The laptop is keeping my lap warm.  I tried using a bunny to that end for a bit, but it was too wiggly. 

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warning: mood swings every 30 seconds

The real important question to cast out into the universe this morning is, why was Joe Namath in my dreams last night?

And also, I hate our graphic designer at work so much.  I regularly send him the text that needs to be whatever promotional piece.  He repeatedly sends me back designs with key phrases missing because they didn't fit the design he made.  Well buddy, if it's an order form, you can't just leave out all references to it being an order form because it doesn't aesthetically please you.  Yeah, you have to keep the words I send you IN it, and make your ugly designs work.  If I was the boss this guy would have been so fired, so long ago.  Alas, he's like my boss's college roommate or something, so we continue to pay him exorbitant amounts of money to do sub-par work and do it very slowly.

Yes, I am somewhat cranky today.  Sure it is possibly hormonal, but I prefer to blame dreams about Joe Namath (ew, no, not those kinds of dreams).

In much better news, almost all the trees are now dressed in some lacy, new, pale green foliage.  Almost every remaining vestige of winter if falling under the dreamy, lush Tennessee green.  Green green green green.

Hey!  I just found $6 while cleaning out my purse.  Now going to go walk in the sun for a bit and maybe spend my $6 on something.  Like, um, hmm, something!

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