AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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mail, victims rights and damn I’m hungry

I have a peculiar loathing for shipping companies.  With the old USPS you send stuff and eventually it gets there, or it doesn’t.  You check your mail box and there is stuff in it, or there isn’t. But now that FedEx and UPS and their ilk are all online it’s become this maddening, bizarrely ritualistic, crazy waiting period to get your package.  First you start checking the online tracking, continually refreshing to see if it’s anywhere new. And what do you get? Usually that the thing has gone 3 miles in the first two days, or there are no updates at all, and then suddenly it’s gone from Seattle to Louisville in 6 hours and is already halfway to your house.  Or, as has happened to me, it shows arrival in your city, ‘out for delivery’ and then six hours later it’s suddenly on it’s way to Atlanta, and then back to you, taking 2 days longer than the original out for delivery notice.  WTF?  And then once it is out for delivery all one can do is check the damn porch every 20 minutes.  Well at least at my house.  I have a good (and pretty cute) UPS guy.  He knows me and my neighbors.  He delivers to my job as well.  He waves when we drive past each other in other parts of the neighborhood.  He always gets my packages to me. However he doesn’t always work.  I’ve had drivers knock on my door and in the time it takes me to get from my couch to the door (about 6 feet), the driver is already back in their truck and there is notice stuck to the door saying they couldn’t deliver the package without a signature.  ARG.

Hi.  Guess what I am doing this morning? Yep, waiting for an ‘out for delivery’ package. Which should contain my new phone.  So I can lose the rest of my day setting up the new phone and messing with it.  Good times.

I was an hour late for court the other day.  They acted like it wasn’t a big deal, like the difference was between me waiting in the hall to testify for 20 minutes vs. an hour and 20 minutes.  It was a hearing to get the guys who robbed me tried as adults (they are 17, I think).  They aren’t, as far as I understand it, trying them for robbing me, rather they got caught in other crimes, with fingerprints, and they established that their fingerprints matched the prints on my car.  So I go in, get sworn in.  They ask where I work, what happened on the night of blah blah blah.  And if I know anyone by [redacted] name. No, I don’t.  Could I please look to my left and behind me and say if I recognize any one of the defendants as a friend or acquaintance who would have had reason to touch my car.  Ugh, all four kids were right there (two robbed me, four were involved in the other crime I guess, and no, I didn’t realize they were in the courtroom, as it was laid out really weird).  I said, no, I didn’t know any of them.  And that was pretty much it.  They said I could stay and watch the rest of the proceedings, but I bolted.  And I am still very uncomfortable about it.  Here’s the thing, I did not have the option to testify, I was subpoenaed and (very very mildly) threatened that I had to testify.  They put me in a courtroom with the perpetrators, and their families and girlfriends and then asked me to give my full name (including spelling it) and tell where I worked and what hours.  So you know, if some one wanted to retaliate against me, it would be pretty fucking easy for them to find me.  And while I find that scenario highly unlikely (since they already knew where I worked anyway), I assume that there are no victims rights advocates in the Tennessee system.  I think people have probably been put in very very very bad situations because of this very textbook, very impersonal judicial system.  Ugh, I’m not sure I’m stating this right, just I think the whole thing was pretty fucked up, and I am unhappy with how it all went and I doubt the system is going to do anything at all for these kids besides make them prisoners and probably worse more desperate criminals in the future.  And oh, UGH, after I typed this up I read this.  Man, Tennessee, I love you, I really do, but seriously you fucking suck in so many ways.

The rain seems to be delaying both the UPS guy and the regular mail.  I am going to stop peeking through my curtains like an insane old lady and go watch Bruce Lee movies and make lunch.


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it’s a laaaaa-aazy afternoon

I took Ladybug to the airport at 4 am and thus didn’t make it to bed until 5 am. 7 hours sleep should be enough, but it doesn’t feel like it today. What I would like to do is not get dressed, or do anything, and instead spend the day on the couch watching A Walk on the Moon. But sadly, I do not own this movie. I might watch A History of Violence instead. I know, not comparable, but worth it for that scene on the stairs. I have no idea why I am fixating on Viggo Mortensen today. Well I suspect it’s related to my other current masculine idée fixe, but still not talking about that. *cough*

I should clean the house. I should organize the sewing and craft stuff. I should do laundry. I should work on some of the sites I have to finish building. I should write. I should answer emails. I should put together packages to mail. I should I should I should I should I should I should. Gah!!! Admittedly I’m exhausted and I have to work tonight, so I guess I can give myself a pass on the shoulds right now. However I also have to confess I don’t think I deserve the pass, because despite the legitimate reasons, the actual reason I’m not doing more than watching movies right now is because currently the inside of my head looks like this:

cuteboycuteboycuteboycuteboycuteboycuteboycandycuteboycuteboyeatcuteboycuteboycuteboy cuteboysleepcuteboycuteboywinecuteboycuteboycandycuteboycuteboycuteboycuteboycandycuteboy cuteboytiredcuteboycuteboylunchcuteboycuteboycuteboycandycuteboycuteboyfluffypillowscuteboy

Be glad you aren’t here with me right now. I’m even starting to annoy myself. Ladybug is surely glad she is out of town, as she was even subjected to a spaz attack while I drove her to the airport.


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LL Neck Pain (no actually we don’t)

I am voluntarily watching Martha Stewart. My neck still hurts and I am unhappy. But! Martha? Has LL Cool J on!!! And they are making sugar skulls for Dia De Los Muertos!! Seriously, like best thing ever.  Because you know I love Day of the Dead stuff and I am a lady and Ladies Love Cool James.  Ha!  Right after I typed that Martha was just all, “Ladies love…”  And he looked slightly abashed, and said it could also be “Love Life Cool James” which amuses me because it’s kind of like a commandment from God. Heh.

My neck is 50% better today, which is to say 75% better than Sunday and thus should be fine tomorrow, but the still  hurting is SUCKY.  I do not like pain. It is sneaky and mean and should be taken away forever and ever.

Despite the pain and tons of whining, I went last night, when a friend called me, to be ‘background texture’ in a music video shoot.  I think I’ll only be in it for split second, but it was all simultaneously fun, boring and interesting to take part in.


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whiny mcwhinerson

Song for today, for Rhi, for everything: Migraine Months – Cameron McGill (click to download). Yesterday I woke up, rolled over, stretched and then wrenched my neck in some impossible way. I think I pinched a nerve int here somewhere. Spent the morning alternating hot and cold packs with hight does of painkillers and got it down to manageable. I slept alright. I had to wake up to roll over carefully, but was able to find pain-free positions. Today I am 55% better which is to say just annoyed, discomforted and hurty, rather than miserable, and in excruciating pain. I hate getting older. Shit like this didn’t happen when I was younger.

Yesterday Ladybug and I carefully cleaned out our closets, packed away summer clothes and pulled out sweaters. Which was not as fun as it should have been because of the neck. but it’s done and still I am ambivalent about autumn. I never felt this way on the west coast. Maybe fall is only lonely out east, or in Tennessee. I don’t know. Then last night we watched The Nanny Diaries (depressing, not funny, nor romantic and generally full of unlikeable characters, blech) and Penelope (wonderful, sweet, quite funny in parts).

Saturday we went to the huge flea market at the fairgrounds with my pal, CT. We were getting ideas for decorating his house. I think I have good ideas, so now I just need to figure out how to execute them on the cheap. Also CT was wearing his new glasses that I picked out for him. He looks great, super cool, but I’m not sure he’s adjusted to it yet.

This morning I was walking through the neighborhood, admiring fall, and the weird timeless quality East Nashville seems to have some times. I tried to grab a shot with my camera phone but it doesn’t lok good, then I remembered walking along the exact same street last year, the same melancholy fall mood, and taking pictures. So here are last year’s pictures, of the same street, they look much like today does:


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good TV, bad dreams, scary economics

So I’ve been watching Fringe, which I don’t expect to last, as I don’t get the sense that anyone but me is watching it. I confess that I only started watching it because Joshua Jackson is on it, but I stayed because I love the way they use the location titles (like they are three dimensional words hanging in actual space at the location) and Anna Torv.  She’s pretty, but in this really unconventional way. And I don’t mean exotic, I mean she looks like a real person and she looks photogenically different in different situations.

I had endless stress dreams last night, mostly on a theme of trying to get somewhere but being repeatedly blocked, highlighted by a long sequence of riding a bicycle on the freeway.  I also dreamt that my sister and I had two brothers, one older than me, and one between me and L’il Bug.  I woke up feeling sort of lonely, like an odd sense of loss, that they didn’t really exist.

YA author, Scott Westerfeld, does the math on economics by party control in the federal government. The site is a pro-Dem, pro-Obama site for kids too young to vote.  Interesting site, but Westerfeld’s analysis is definitely far more than I knew about the history of the economy when I was a teenager (or even now, really).


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empty

I have no idea why I feel so compelled to watch Hope Floats.  I don’t even like Sandra Bullock.  And this movie is pretty depressing. I’ve seen it half a dozen times and yet I picked it over Law & Order.  Granted I’m working, so it’s just background noise, but what is it that makes me choose this?  Harry Connick Jr?  Maybe, seriously, every time his character is on screen I’m like, “where’s mine? I want one just like that.”  Sigh.  Sometimes I am such a girl. Oh man, he just came on screen in a ‘Texas Rebel Radio’ t-shirt. Want want want.

I don’t know why, but I find this article strangely pleasing: Political (neck)ties.

Yesterday I worked out, ate healthy, and worked a long shift.  Today I have not yet gotten dressed and am having potato chips and Little Debbie cakes for lunch.  In my defense I am working today.  Or trying too.  Anyway I’m getting stuff done.  Some stuff.