AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books


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return of the returns of the past

So I’m sure most of you know about Mercury Retrograde, and the havoc it can cause.  Well right now Venus is in retrograde.  Which is about relationships (of all kinds) and right now it is particularly about dealing with your past in a way that enables you to move forward.  Resolution of conflict, dealing with buried feelings etc.  There’s a bunch of other stuff too.  My ruling planet is Venus and so, as I understand it, this means that potential events of this retrograde are particularly applicable to me (as they are also particularly applicable to Libelle, but in a slightly different was as she is an Aries and the this is Venus Retrograde in Aries). So anyway, given that, to some extent I believe in all of this, you would think that maybe I would brace mayself before I opened my inbox each day.  But no, I sit down, half-caffeinated and blithely click until I am suddenly faced with something that I probably can’t deal with first thing in the morning.

Really Facebook is probably to blame more than anything.  It’s like a bizarre continual online reunion.  Sometimes very welcome, sometimes very awkward, sometimes both at once.

And I suspect that it doesn’t help that my headspace is all wonky today from a series of really conplicated strange, stressful dreams.  In one I was traveling back and forth between my mother’s house and my father’s house.  At each I was trying to plant flowers and maintain gardens and gather things that were mine to take with me, but at every turn something would come up and I’d have to jump in the car, drive through the desert for hours, and go to the other parent’s house to solve a problem or fix something or water something, or search again for some lost object that I was sure belonged only to me.  I also had a dream about ebing with a bunch of friends and being chased through the woods by robot policemen.  Sadly I remember less of that dream, but really each were equally stressful.

Now I need to focus on my external life.  Clearly this will take much more coffee. And maybe so exterior motivation.  Does anyone want to come over today and just around and tell me what to do next until I get everything done?  Because that would be great.


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babies, babies, tape and tacos

Last night I dreamt about my friends’ new baby.  She was sitting her little seat, still too small to hold her head up, but she was very alert.  I kept trying to tell her she could go to sleep, that everything would still be there in the morning, but she wanted to see what everyone was doing. Clearly I have some special insight proving she will be one of the smartest girls ever!!

I am so tired today.  I am fantasizing about an afternoon nap.  I am disappointed that the hammock isn’t set up already.  Not enough to bother setting it up though.

I am going to draft out a test pattern for a baby clothes idea I had.  I am maybe going to finish the dress I’ve been altering for Libelle.  I am maybe going to sweep and mop the house.  I am maybe going for a walk in the sun.  I am maybe just going to sit here and work on the stupid RSS feed coding problem that I am still having.  I am maybe going to shower.  I am maybe going to walk to the cafe next door for lunch.  Why am I not in downtown Portland with 600 taco trucks to choose from?  I want good tacos.  Mmmm, tacos.  I am maybe going to be easily distracted today.

I did manage to get around to making some bias tape the other day:
tape-01

I used this tutorial for the continuous tape (less sewing!).

I have many many many other things to do today, but first more coffee!!  HURRAH!


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mere dreams

Last night I had series of complicated dreams.  Each dream began with me thinking I was awake, dreaming that I had insomnia.  In the first dream I got up and went outside. I found MOPMD standing on his porch and he asked me to walk with him.  We went around to his neighbor’s houses, but I persuaded him not to knock, as it was 4 am.  We returned to his house, only to find a few of his friends had arrived. They started playing music and making drinks and soon, even some of my friends arrived and there was no privacy left anywhere, nor enough quiet to sleep, though I wanted nothing more than to sleep.  I woke up, tossed, turned, drifted off again.  I dreamt that Libelle came to MOPMD’s house to pick me up and we went straight to the airport.  We spent the day wandering in some small town on the Italian coast, trying to meet up with the rest of our school group.  We left the town to go see the nearby lagoon and got caught out by the tide in a little stone building wondering if we could make it to the roof and if that would be high enough to get us out of the water.  An attractive Italian policeman arrived and rescued us with a little pink Zodiac.  He chided us for not paying enough attention to the tide tables and the time of day (it was getting dark).  Back in town we ran into some guys we knew and one of them asked me out, he eventually morphed into MOPMD, and I spent the rest of the night worrying about whether he really wanted to ask me out or if he was just humouring me.  I woke up again, got up for a second, and came back to bed cold. I couldn’t shake the chill. I dreamt of snakes on cold dark rocks, shuddering, before they tightened into denser coils to try and keep warm.  I dreamt that my body extended in light, down an amorphous highway of history, but never found a goal, as it shivered and shuddered for the cold. I looked and looked for a soft, warm place to rest, but was met only with the hard, dark road, and increasing weariness and cold.

Suffice to say that I don’t feel at all rested this morning.  I do still feel cold.  It is, however, hopefully the last cold cold cold day for a while.

I had hoped to sleep more, but it doesn’t seem to be on the table today, so I will make breakfast and drink coffee while I read the news.  I will make my to-do list while I watch the movie I didn’t finish last night.  I will clean the house, do the laundry, and get some real work done.  Today I will make a day of it.  Or maybe I will just stay under this fleecy blanket if it doesn’t get warmer in here.


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she’s the best by far

Ma meilleure fille, Ladybug, apparently HATES the nickname Ladybug.  So from here on out she shall be known as Libelle.  Perhaps one day, if I am in special need of serious procrastinating, I will go change it in all the past posts.

I got a new mattress today.  It is, possibly, like sleeping on clouds.  I am going to go try it out for ten or twelve hours.  I have already been awake for far too long on far too little sleep.   Can’t make up missed sleep?  Well, I am going to try, because right now I think I am down about 51 hours for the month.  I can’t make it up all at once, but I’m gonna try and put a dent in it.