I was trying to think of a fitting send off for 2011, but really I wish it would sneak quietly out the back door and be done with. I can’t really even be bothered to tell it not to let the door hit its ass on the way out.
In 2011 I got better. I recovered, almost completely, from 2010 and 2009. I reconnected with some amazing, beautiful old friends who I am so very glad to have back in my life. I reconnected with my old online community which is no different than sitting down with old friends. I learned, I changed, I stayed the same, I became more me, I remembered who I was, and who I want to be. I think I managed to find myself again, or at least the creative center of myself, even if the rest of me seems much changed than who I was even a year ago. I am glad to be moving forward, looking forward, and carrying on with the people I have around me.
In 2012 I plan to take myself less seriously. I want to worry less about external pressures and ask less of myself. I want to write more and laugh more and sing loudly even when I’m out of tune.
I have an extensive list of new projects I want to work on in 2012. I’m not sure yet which will make the cut and which will fall by the wayside but I am going to strongly commit to one or a few and be dedicated and vigilant in my work on what I do choose.
I will be smarter and more me by the end of the 2012. I don’t think that’s too much to ask of myself.
I am so grateful for my huge, wonderful family, for my mother and my sisters. I am so very thankful for my friends and my community. I wish I had the words and time to tell each of you just how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I will carry that love in my heart every single day, I will use it to bolster myself against the hard times. I will do my best to love you all even more, every single day. I will trust you all and work to to learn to trust myself and my instincts more. I will try harder to be worthy of the love given back to me.
Here we go!
December 31, 2011 at 2:13 pm