AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books

If wishes were horses I’d be, uh, shoveling a lot

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I have been thinking about it, and given the frequency and astounding brilliant content of my posts, I assume my readership to be made up entirely of incredibly wealthy, bored, would-be patrons who just haven’t found the right person to send gifts too.  In light of that, I would like to point out that today it is 94 days or 3 months, 4 days until my birthday (of course you don’t have to wait until my birthday for gifts, silly, even though it’s très gauche, I accept them at any time).  Here are some ideas of what you can get for me:

The purchase of this pillow would give me something soft upon which to rest my head and save me from having to to do hours of pains-taking, meticulous embroidery myself to recreate such a homespun masterpiece.

Any sized print of any of these three photographs (the larger the better!).  This would save me the time and expense of having to go 2500 miles across the country and waiting around in the damp woods for the perfect lighting conditions.  Plus, I am generally an abysmal photographer and mine certainly wouldn’t look this good.

The Frye Carson Lace-up.  This fulfills my need to romanticize early last century laborers, while looking cool, hip and stylish.  A purchase of these (dark brown, size 8.5 please) would save me from having to spend hours on pouring over Ebay to find some that were a tenth of the cost of these lovely originals.

If none of those suits your fancy, I am also accepting plane tickets to Spain (no return needed, assuming you are also purchasing a small coastal villa to reside in as well) or one (or both) of the following:

 

wombatMatt Damon

Thank you for your consideration to this very, very important matter.  If not gifts, you can direct flowers or checks directly to me in my office and I will use them to buy my own villa in Spain (assuming the flowers are filled with diamonds as well).

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