AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books

it’s the things we leave behind

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It has been PAUL week at our house.  We didn’t plan it (though we did tip the scales in our favor), but we have been watching almost nothing but Paul Bettany and Paul Rudd movies.  So I’m sitting here, finishing up somethings from the day, thinking about going to read in bed until I pass out.  And I idly check the TV listings and, oh look, another Paul Bettany movie, Firewall, which I haven’t seen.  Clearly the universe wants us to have Pauls.

I have cleaned out my closet.  Only have shoes and jewelry left to sort.  This is part of my life simplification plan.  And also, seriously, I just have way too much shit.  Shit I don’t need, shit that makes me feels weighted and in some ways makes my life harder than I need it to to be.  So I am cleaning an sorting.  And even after this round of cleaning out I still have way too much stuff. Before MOPMD left for Europe he whittled his possesions down to (I believe) four suitcases (might even have been three) and two cardboard boxes.  Now I don’t aspire to that level of minimalism, but man, it must be really freeing to have so little stuff. Zen levels of relaxing.  The absence of desire is the end of suffering. And, apparently, the absence of stuff is the end of caring about, uh, stuff.

This morning I got a massage, courtesy my friends, T&R, and it was fantastic. Tomorrow I go to the dentist (again), this time to see how the tooth extraction site is healing, to check the health and stability of the rest of my teeth and to start the process for getting my permanent replacement tooth.  I’ve decided (after much research) on a bonded resin bridge.  Implants are completely horrifying to me (I couldn’t even read about them without shuddering in horror) and a traditional bridge is more invasive than I think is necessary.  I’m not 100% sure my dentist will do this for me, but there are other dentists.  Hopefully I won’t have to shop around for it though, as I do like my dentist and I’d like to get through all this as quickly as possible.  The flipper appliance has been okay, in the sense I can talk to people without feeling awkward about the gap in my mouth, but I’ve never gotten the hang of eating with it in and really, I just don’t like the feeling of it in my mouth.  I’d like to get back to as close to normal as soon as possible.  I am hoping the appointment tomorrow goes okay and doesn’t undo all the good work my massage did this morning.  I probably should have scheduled the appointments in the reverse order.

(Wow, Paul Bettany looks kind of creepy in this movie or rather, he just shouldn’t have his hair like that.  And yet his voice make my knees a little weak.  Man, I could listen to him read the phone book.)

Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

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