It’s nice out.  I could be sitting on the porch and painting my nails.  I could be sewing or cutting out patterns.  I could be answering emails or editing.  I could be writing or making work plans. I should be at work.  Instead I am sitting on the couch with a sore shoulder and a sore mouth, feeling sorry for myself and catching up on past episodes of Life even though it’s been cancelled. All things considered I suppose it’s fair that I am basically fucking off. Still I feel guilty about it.  I should go out and see people.  Maybe.  Mostly I just want to eat food that isn’t mushy and sleep uninterrupted by oral discomfort.  Both of which feel sort of impossible right now (seriously, I am so tired of thinking about my mouth, which isn’t going to end, as I have to worry about my tongue in relation to the hole in my mouth, I have to speak very carefully, I can’t eat normally, it all just sucks). I could use a good stiff drink right about now. And a shoulder to lean on while I watch movies.  And movies to watch that aren’t sad.  Instead I guess I’ll just continue to feel sorry for myself on the couch. Maybe I’ll get up to get ice cream.