It’s nice out. I could be sitting on the porch and painting my nails. I could be sewing or cutting out patterns. I could be answering emails or editing. I could be writing or making work plans. I should be at work. Instead I am sitting on the couch with a sore shoulder and a sore mouth, feeling sorry for myself and catching up on past episodes of Life even though it’s been cancelled. All things considered I suppose it’s fair that I am basically fucking off. Still I feel guilty about it. I should go out and see people. Maybe. Mostly I just want to eat food that isn’t mushy and sleep uninterrupted by oral discomfort. Both of which feel sort of impossible right now (seriously, I am so tired of thinking about my mouth, which isn’t going to end, as I have to worry about my tongue in relation to the hole in my mouth, I have to speak very carefully, I can’t eat normally, it all just sucks). I could use a good stiff drink right about now. And a shoulder to lean on while I watch movies. And movies to watch that aren’t sad. Instead I guess I’ll just continue to feel sorry for myself on the couch. Maybe I’ll get up to get ice cream.