Ajax Bell

Author of the Queen City Boys books

night

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I want to wear only cute skirts and t-shirts, or jeans and cute blouses.  To that end, I’ve been making blouses.  I’ve only been modifiying existing shirts and making really, really simple blouses (pics soon) but maybe, maybe I am ready to work up to real blouses.  I definitely need a dress form in my size though, as the trying on while sewing thing isn’t going to work for much longer.

It is late and I am awake, and cold and I want to be in bed, warm, snug and preferably sleeping.  Here are some reasons I am not asleep:

Day 3 of no smoking for me.  (Yes, okay, thank you.  Please feel free to mock, berate or chastize me if you see me smoking, otherwise, I’m not yet ready for your support.  Rather just be aware that I am freakishly, unnaturally bitchy right now.)

Work was less than satisfactory.  While clearing one of my last tables, I found a half full pack of cigarettes that some patrons left.  Fuck you, universe.

Some guy got robbed at gun point in our parking lot tonight.  I gave the left cigarettes to the girlfriend fo the guy who got robbed.  She seemed to need them.

I feel both safe and not safe.  I am anxious and yet exhausted.  The sentencing hearing for the guys who robbed me at gunpoint is at 9am the morning after my birthday.  I have nothing deep, meaningful or sensible to say about all that except it all still kind of pisses me off.  I will drink more beer, hopefully sleep and ask everyone to remember that East Nashville isn’t the suburbs, it’s still gentrifying neighborhood and you can’t be too cautious.

Warm weather can’t get here soon enough.  Really.  Also I wish everyone I love in the world could be here right now to see the dogwoods.  You don’t know dogwoods until you’ve driven around neighborhoods in Tennessee in spring.  My heart hurts with hugeness of the beauty and my inability to share it with everyone.

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