Author of the Queen City Boys books

return of the returns of the past

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So I’m sure most of you know about Mercury Retrograde, and the havoc it can cause.  Well right now Venus is in retrograde.  Which is about relationships (of all kinds) and right now it is particularly about dealing with your past in a way that enables you to move forward.  Resolution of conflict, dealing with buried feelings etc.  There’s a bunch of other stuff too.  My ruling planet is Venus and so, as I understand it, this means that potential events of this retrograde are particularly applicable to me (as they are also particularly applicable to Libelle, but in a slightly different was as she is an Aries and the this is Venus Retrograde in Aries). So anyway, given that, to some extent I believe in all of this, you would think that maybe I would brace mayself before I opened my inbox each day.  But no, I sit down, half-caffeinated and blithely click until I am suddenly faced with something that I probably can’t deal with first thing in the morning.

Really Facebook is probably to blame more than anything.  It’s like a bizarre continual online reunion.  Sometimes very welcome, sometimes very awkward, sometimes both at once.

And I suspect that it doesn’t help that my headspace is all wonky today from a series of really conplicated strange, stressful dreams.  In one I was traveling back and forth between my mother’s house and my father’s house.  At each I was trying to plant flowers and maintain gardens and gather things that were mine to take with me, but at every turn something would come up and I’d have to jump in the car, drive through the desert for hours, and go to the other parent’s house to solve a problem or fix something or water something, or search again for some lost object that I was sure belonged only to me.  I also had a dream about ebing with a bunch of friends and being chased through the woods by robot policemen.  Sadly I remember less of that dream, but really each were equally stressful.

Now I need to focus on my external life.  Clearly this will take much more coffee. And maybe so exterior motivation.  Does anyone want to come over today and just around and tell me what to do next until I get everything done?  Because that would be great.

Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

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