Ajax Bell

Author of the Queen City Boys books

the train of thought rambles on ever so lamely

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I wish I had a lot of candy to eat. Peppermint nougats. Chocolate covered peanuts.  Dark chocolate covered dried cherries. Those tiny ice cream bites covered in chocolate. Nom nom nom nom.  Alas I have, um, hmmmm, let’s see, some pocky left that I should save and, uh, sweet pickled ginger.  Not satisfying.  Though not fattening I guess.

I want to sew crazy covers for things, like heating pads and pillows and, um, anything you could possibly slip-cover. I am clearly becoming an old lady very quickly.

I am super excited about the impending Seattle/Portland visit (nine days away!!) but kind of anxious too.  I know I’ve only bothered to contact two friends to see while I am there, and I do feel a little guilty about that.  Alas I had to make sacrifices and I just can’t fit that much in this time that isn’t family.  And indeed the two people I am trying to make plans with really are family more than anything.  Oh man, and I need to pack.  And finish gift shopping.  And generally freak out for bit before it’s time to go home and visit.

I am really tired.  I could probably go to sleep right now.  Instead I am drinking endless cups of tea, typing and watching incredibly shitty movies. Tired, so tired, and yet I can’t even get it together to go to bed.  Bed would be so nice.  I could have a heating pad on achy bits and more tea, and I could read and snuggle under the giant fluffy blankets. And still here I am, on the couch, with the laptop and shitty TV.  No, I don’t what’s wrong with me, other than that I can’t even do the right thing for myself even when I know what the right thing is.

I do have a lot of projects and things I could be working on.  Except I am too tired.  You know, I just don’t like Sunday nights.  They are the loneliest and when I feel like this I just can’t do enough to distract myself.  I should just go to bed.  Tell me again why I am not there.

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