Author of the Queen City Boys books

random stubborn scatteredness

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I am so far behind in the stuff I wish I was getting done.  Like days behind, maybe even weeks.  I need to be doing stuff right now.  Well maybe not right now, as I haven’t had much coffee and I still feel a little sleep woozy and weird.  But soon.  I’m hoping that just by writing about it first thing in the am, I will suddenly be more motivated to work on stuff.

Neck still hurts.  Though it’s a bearable level of pain, which seems like an oxymoron, but there it is.

I had to reformat my iPod yesterday and then had some insane hitches trying to get music back on it.  It is all fine now, except I got frustrated and bored and so it’s only like less than a quarter full, which actually seems better.  20 gigs is too much music for me to carry around, since I usually only have it on shuffle anyway.  Less space makes for more conscious choices about what to include.  But I am loving what’s on there right now.  I really do need to remember to rotate out the music on the old ‘Pod, as I love what is on it, but I forget I have so much more wonderful music.  In that vein, todays’ songs are: Beautiful Girls – Girls, Guns and Glory (click to download) and Gia – Dealership (click to download) and Two Doors Down – Dolly Parton (click to download)

Brezny-scope for me this week:
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be, Taurus. Please read that last sentence again, drinking it in as if it were an elixir you’ve been longing for since you were 13 years old. Here are some corollaries: You don’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations. There’s no need to strive for a kind of perfection that’s not very interesting to you. You don’t have to believe in ideas that make you sad or tormented, and you don’t have to feel emotions that others try to manipulate you into feeling. In short, you are free to be exactly who you want to be. Celebrate that this Halloween season. Costume yourself as the person you’ve been hiding.

I find that it somehow makes the incredibly stubborn part of me very happy.  Like, Yeah!  I don’t have to be anything you think I am.  Hmm, no, I am not explaining that well, but really, it makes me oddly joyful.

Right now I am going to box up the stuff I should have mailed to my mom a week and half ago, then shower and get to work.  Well, maybe I’ll make a to do list first.  So I can stay on task.  As clearly I am very scattered from the outset today.

(Also anyone who saw the post I made in the middle of the night last night–Sorry, I had to delete as announcing a crush like that makes me feel like such a complete and utter spaz that I couldn’t leave it hanging out there publicly.)

Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

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