AJAX BELL

Author of the Queen City Boys books

you know where you can stick your smoke, buddy?

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On Thursday I go wait in line for 45 mins for emissions testing only to get told that they can not test my car because visible smoke is coming from the tailpipe.  So I check and watch car over weekend, see no smoke at all.  I decide guy is either an asshole or an idiot, since after 45 mins idling in 25 degree weather, surely something was visible from my exhaust, you know? I take car to mechanic this morning, tell him the story.  He's dubious, as he says they can only refuse to test if the "service engine" light is on, unless they've changed the law and he didn't hear about it. I leave my car with him, he tests it, he tells me, with the exact same machine they use at the state place and everything falls with in acceptable levels.  Mechanic says the only thing he can do is put a slightly heavier oil in it, which can reduce smoke if it's a problem, which he doesn't think it is. Then he tells me to go the emissions office on Craighead, not Dickerson.  Which I will do tomorrow.  Then go wait forever at the registration office again.
 
So either the guy at the emissions testing place was a total asshole or, well, I don't know what.  This is some yucktastic Mercury Retrograde bullshit, right here.  Now, I will take a deep breath and pretend that I like waiting in lines and driving all over town for no reason. But you know between the temp tag fees, extra emissions test and mechanic, there's $150 that I don't have anymore. Fucking awesome. Not to mention my time spent.

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