Author of the Queen City Boys books

noodle muffin: crazier than you could hope to be

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How do you make the screen from the dryer lint trap disappear? The little chrome frame it was in is still there, just the metal mesh part is gone.  It's like neighbors are playing a game to see if they can convince us that leprechauns are plaguing the house or something.  I have temporarily fixed the problem with pantyhose (all those episodes of MacGyver paid off!!) but I'm just really annoyed that I even had to do that.

We received a package at work today for which the return address was "Noodle Muffin at Operation Regime Change." Yikes.  Or perhaps I'm just sad I didn't think of "Noodle Muffin" as my online name.  (Is Noodle Muffin a boy or a girl? It's a noodle muffin!!  Ahem.  That's probably only funny to like 3 people reading this.)

So there's this girl who comes into the restaurant occasionally, we all call her "Crazy McCrazerson."  She's very attractive in a conventional sort of way, usually very well groomed.  But she's fucking crazy.  She's full of inappropriate oversharing.  She usually comes in before we open and plops down at the bar, unbothered by all of saying, "we aren't open yet, you can come back after we open."  She says things like, "I came for a cup of coffee and I brought two Red Bulls, so it'll be almost like doing a bump of speed!" and "I haven't slept in three days since I stopped taking my medication," and "I can't see because I only had one contact left and I stayed at some guy's place last night and put my one contact in a wineglass on the TV and this morning it was gone and I just got out of jail so I can't get new ones right away."  See? CRAZY.  Anyway, last night she plops down at the bar and bothers us all until we are all actively avoiding her.  Then some poor unsuspecting patron sits besides her and so she focuses her attention him.  And then the following conversation ensues:

Crazy Girl, looking normal and smiling prettily, "So what do you do?"
Nice guy, one of our regulars, replies, "Well, actually, I work in a psychiatric hospital."
Crazy Girl happily replies, "No way!  I just got out of one of those!"

Wow.  I heard some weird conversations last night, as you always do when work in a restaurant, but that one will probably never be surpassed. Anyway it worked out well.  The poor guy did seem to cut his dinner short (took half of it home with him), but I heard him tell her to please call his office and he'd try and help her.   

I have actually been pretty good about taking a picture a day, just less good about actually getting them online.  Maybe I can get caught up this weekend.  Or maybe not since my cousin and his friend are coming to visit and Hols and I will be busy either cleaning the house or out running around with the Navy boys.  Wheee!

And, since I started on a complaining note, let me end on one.  I hate the new interface bar at the top o' my Vox. I can't find anything and none of the things I use regularly (compose and organize) were easily identifiable (create and library? WTF?).

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Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

One thought on “noodle muffin: crazier than you could hope to be

  1. I am sad now because I think I am EXACTLY like Crazy McCrazerson.
    I hate the new vox interface, too. Poo right on it.

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