Author of the Queen City Boys books

two left feet, two right shoes


This morning, whether we like it or not we are braving the mall.  This is utterly necessary because my dad brought two right shoes with him instead of a match pair. I refrained from actually laughing at him, because while he is hilarious, this is one of his unintentional hilarities. It is quite funny.  Though not as funny as hearing him say, in a carefully measured way, "Say, what are you talking about, Willis?"  Which makes my sister cringe and insist that he can't say it like that.  My dad in turn assures us it's the proper Scandinavian way of expressing the sentiment.  Teenageness seems to have made my sister slightly embarrassed by dad about half the time.  Which is good, I guess, since it's not 100% of the time.  Mostly she thinks he's funny too.

The big downside of going to the mall is that Dad will drive.  Even though he doesn't know his way around the city.  I will 'navigate' and my mom will 'help.'  This is extra fun because Dad is a little hard of hearing and mom just doesn't listen and thinks she's knows something, but doesn't so often gives incorrect directions. At the most crucial point my my sister will interrupt to tell us we are all annoying, and cause Dad to miss an important instruction and make, most likely, an illegal u-turn and starting the whole process all over again. I know the way, where we are going, which lane to be in etc.  but no driving for me, presumably because I am not The Dad.  Maybe I can change all that on this trip since I guarantee Dad won't like Nashville drivers.

Am generally looking forward to their visit.  I expect to spend the whole day shopping.  Hopefully that will divert from the other stuff.  Mom is already making pointed comments about people with southern accents (Ma, we are IN the South) and Dad is complaining about wine prices (Pop, it's room service is a $200 a night hotel, of course there's a mark up).

Now, I am off to Jami's to shower.  Luckily the plumber is here now, so hopefully I will have my own hot water soon.  And bless the plumber for coming, I wish I had a present for him.

Merry Christmas to those celebrating.  I hope you have at least a little joy in your hearts.  I have a lot so I'll share if you need.

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Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

3 thoughts on “two left feet, two right shoes

  1. Merry, merry Christmas to you. ♥

  2. Your dad makes me laugh! So much that I read the first part of this to my parents.I hope the mall treats you well. I think we, too, are doing some shopping today. With icy roads to contend with. Oh, home.

  3. Hee. There must be a Manual of Required Behavior for Parents With Adult Children, because this all sounds so familiar…. 🙂 I just returned from a 9-day vacation with mine, and I had a really bad cold and lost my voice the entire time. There is nothing quite as entertaining as watching your partner navigate your folks because you can't speak.
    I hope you're having a wonderful visit. Wishing all of you a very happy and healthy new year.

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