Author of the Queen City Boys books

notes from the underground


Two of my friends got married last Sunday.  They didn't tell anyone until Saturday, and then just a few of us.  They had their families meet them in the middle of the pedestrian bridge downtown and had a surprise wedding right there (their families had no idea).  I saw the pictures, everyone looks so happy, so beautiful.  Both of them are still glowing.

I'm a little surprised at myself at how not jealous I am.  I feel full of love and happiness for them, which comes with a lump in my throat and sort of a longing ache in my heart, but the feelings are completely pure and with out malice or negativity (I don't think the mild sadness for my own loneliness is negative, it just is).

At work yesterday there was a little presentation, a thank you for all your hard work to the staff.  Envelopes were handed out with bonuses, such as they are. Except I didn't get one.  My boss is sure he addressed one to me and simply misplaced it. And while that's probably true, it sort sums my current relationship to my job.  I work hard for them, they thank me and then fail to follow through with making the work worth my while. I have been actively looking for a new job, but it's so not easy this time of year and I am quite overwhelmed with other goings on.

My lovely boyfriend remains the one thing I want for Xmas, but I probably won't even see him until the end of January.  UGH.  I need a job with much more money and flexibilty for travel.  While I'm at it I'd like a pony and world peace.

My intern just came in a gave me a very sweet little present that she made.  I almost burst into tears.  I'm a little overwrought about everything right now.  Maybe I'll take a long lunch and try and finish some of my holiday shopping.

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Author: Ajax Bell

Seattle author. Stops to smell the flowers. Amateur nerd (I wanna go pro but I haven't found anyone to pay me). Humble hippo enthusiast. queer/bi. they/them.

2 thoughts on “notes from the underground

  1. You need a good long break. *loves*

  2. Yes! I will have like 9 days off the day job, so that's good. My family might make it not relaxing though.

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