I was driving into work, mostly ignoring NPR and thinking about how much I hate this shirt. I had two this color and when I massively cleaned out my closets I think I got rid of the good one and kept the one I hate (it fits funny). But then I decided I didn’t care because it’s so hot right now, I wouldn’t want to sweat through all the shirts I like. Then I walked into my office, where there’s a mirror in the entry way and realized that somewhere between the house and the office I managed to smudged something black all over the front of it. Now I’m wearing a shirt that fits funny, in a yucky color with smudges on it. I have meetings all morning with people who will be wearing suits and generally looking much better than I do. Which not hard since I look like I slept in my car after attempting to fix it myself with no tools. Oh, hello, Monday, I thought you might not notice me, but I see you are all up in my grill.

Also it turns out that I only own two pairs of sandals that aren’t flip-flops, or don’t go between my toes in some way. This is important because I have a HUGE mosquito bite on my second toe, right where my flip-flops rub and right now it’s hot here. No, like hot, bordering on record breaking temps for the day, and rumour has it, the rest of the week kind of hot. And I can’t wear flip-flops. And the other sandals I have just aren’t right. WAH!

In somewhat cryptic but much less complainy, more cheerful news, it turns out that the line a guy needs to use on me to make me a smitten, giddy mess is:

However I suspect it’s one time usage thing and wouldn’t work if someone else tried it in the future. Which is probably for the best. I’m kind of spastic when I’m a giddy, smitten mess like this.

Oh fuck me, I just realized I left my phone at home. Okay, Monday, is that all? Can we be done now, please? At least give me a raincheck and pay the rest of it out on a day that isn’t so hot?