Dear cable guy,

I appreciate that you came and fixed the line that was down outside so I could access the internet and all. But you know, it’s been fucked since Friday afternoon and pounding on my door at 8:10 am on Sunday to tell me it’s fixed isn’t really appreciated. Especially since you didn’t need me to sign anything. You could have just left one of those cute “we were here” notes, jackass. But I still love you, I guess, since I have intarnets again.

—

Is it just me or is “Oh shit, diaper emergency!” probably not the best combination of words for declaring said emergency? Or perhaps it’s too perfect. Hmm…

—

I had weird dreams last night. So weird that I had a secondary, sort of parallel dream that I was writing all my dreams down to write short stories of them. Sadly, I don’t walk or write in my sleep so nothing was written down. I’m also pretty sure they were prophetic because I really doubt I’ll be marrying Dougie Howser anytime soon, nor will anyone be telling me that my ex-husband and I are good for each other. But if I do find a huge, awesome dollhouse in the basement I’m totally keeping it. I love miniature things. So cute and little!! Wee little things! YAY! Um, the dreams got really bizarre, as I really do not have huge wall of old dirty stuffed animals in my room, hanging from a rack thing like at a carnival game. Nor do I have a pet raccoon who I drop a hamster on occasionally while he’s asleep, just to shake things up. K also does not buy huge amounts of ugly 70s dresses from thrift stores and then ask me to clean them up for her. And I’m pretty sure they haven’t removed all the bathtubs from the house I grew in and left huge gaping holes in their places.

—

Since I had no net goodness, I haven’t had a chance to tell y’all how you’re good wishes and prayers worked: I got the job! I start tomorrow. Apparently they loved me as much as I loved them! Whoo! And little hoo!