Dear crawly, flighty, creepy things that bite,
Please stop biting me. I do not know why I am so delicious, but I wish you’d think otherwise. I am about to lose my mind from the itching.
Last night I dreamt that Nashville was off I-5, an exit between Seattle and Olympia. In the dream I was telling someone how weird it was that I’d literally made that drive over a thousand times and had never bothered to take the exit.
I also dreamt I had bacon, but I couldn’t eat it because there was giant, somewhat sentient cockroach crawling on it. My brain is fired for that one. *shudder*
I’m wondering if I should start compiling the non-Rules based dating advice I get from my friends as some of it cracks me up and surely needs to go in a book or something. The most recent gem: “It doesn’t matter what you wear now, I mean, he’s seen you naked.” Excellent.