I’m tired in weird kind of way. It’s not the heat or anything. I just not having a place to live is wearing on me. We found a place. It’s great. But it’s not like we can move intomorrow cause we have all these other things to do and even after that there’s still the actual moving part, schlepping boxes, finding strong boys to lug heavy things up to the apartment etc., setting up the furniture. It feels endless.
And I love being here. Jed and Brad have and amazing home and I love them, but I hate imposing on people, it makes me feel like I’m in the way no matter how kind, and gracious and generous the hosts are (and our hosts have those things in spades).
I love East Nashville though. I was just worrying outloud to Miss K if we’d still be able to hear the trains at our new place (I hope so it’s only like six blocks from here). I LOVE the trains sounds, it’s so settling and comforting to me, plus you can sort of time your day on it. I don’t know, for me it’s definitely part of what makes this place so amazing.
Nashville overall still seems overwhelming and weird. No one here seems to know how to drive. i can’t get over some of the shit people pull on the road. And every one seems either really genuinely nice or vaguely, in tangibly hostile. Though, thankfully, the scales seem to tip toward the nice side.
And of course the train sounds and the lightning bugs make up for anything wrong here. It’s definitely very very different than Seattle. I feel a little homesick, though not stongly so, just that weird way you when you’re travelling for a long time and everything is new, great and different, but you miss the sense of having someplace to go quietly settle down and read and not have think about where you’re going to get food, or what your plan is or anything. Maybe it’s not so much homesick as missing having an actual home. I’m sure the real homesick will come though.
Talking to my mom makes me so sad. She’s been so CHEERFUL through all this and it feels, even over the phone like she’s putting on a brave face and I hate that I made her have to do that. But I still think I did the nest thing for me. So far, despite whatever obstacles, things are going pretty much as I’d hoped they would. I think when I finally have my own bed set up in my own room I will get in it and sleep for a day, a week, a month until I can make my peculiar tireness go away.
Blah blah blah also huge excitement, bands, shows, a new place to decorate. I can’t believe I really did this. I definitely do feel really much stronger and much more capable of doing anything than I did when I set out.